Finished SONG! "Way past due"

Finally finished the song from the flow i posted a few days ago!
focused tonight and got it done, Let me kno what you think and i hope you like it
i listen to best i ever had instrumental while writing this lol


"Way Past Due"

You got it plus you know youre fine
does he do it all, does he blow ur mind?
give me a chance, a chance to accomplish this feat
one more time girl just to sweep you off your feet
now be mine, be my special treat
no abstract thinkin, time to keep it concrete
youre my cup of coffee cus now i cant sleep
now im fallin down, and im fallin pretty deep
stick with me, i ll make you all you can be
i can see it perfectly, like we have it all in HD,
Im not lost but i admit im feelin stray
come on girl just a few, i kno you wanna stay
stand next to me, let me show you my way
your my last girl if i had our final say,
i hope you brand my name before all the girls do
my songs are about you and the rest dont have a clue
now lets be together cus we're way past due
and im not false cus i always keep it true

CHORUS X2
we re way past due
way past due
way past due
lets be together cus we re way past due

youre the best i ever had, best i ever had
get me mad but always keep me glad
i surrender to your love, wave my flag
keep it clean no need to drag
plus you keep it cool no need to brag,
youre the good girl and yea you have it all
buy your own **** while you stroll thru the mall,
girl i like that cus you ur own boss
never get over it cus youre my one loss
keep it religious always with ur cross
still keep it spicy like the way i like my sauce,
keep it interesting never got me bored
never scared to make me beg, i want that reward
that reward when you give me it all
plus girl, youre worth the risk if i fall
im kinda small, but with you i always feel tall
seasons change but dont worry we ll be lovin past fall
lets skipt to the end no need to stall

CHORUS X2
we re way past due
way past due
way past due
lets be together cus we re way past due


Best i ever had, did i mention ur the best i ever had?
i ll pick you up when ur feelin sad
i ll keep it patient when ur feelin mad
one more thing to add....ur the best i ever had
i never get tired of saying it
cus we ll make it big, making hits
plus i love it when you get down....even strip,
do it for no one but my eyes
which is good cus i got my eyes on the prize
youre my prize try that on for size
do it for no one but my eyes
which is good cus i got my eyes on the prize
youre my prize try that on for size

CHORUS X2
we re way past due
way past due
way past due
lets be together cus we re way past due


Copyright 05/24/2011

This song finishes the flow i posted on May 18th! let me know what you think

anyone? let me kno what you think. thinking of putting this into song.

Well, before I review it; was it written to a beat?

yea...i wrote it on the top
Best i ever had instrumental.
it started when i kept listening to wiz khalifa remix version

Oh, ok, sorry, I missed it :L Well, in my opinion the rhymes seem a bit forced, they sometimes seem like you just put a word or a line there to rhyme it. Maybe try to rhyme more than the final syllable more, but I can feel a flow coming here. You're Iain similies and metaphors which is good but maybe use better ones than "the way I like my sauce". Just keep it going man. The more you write the more natural your rhymes will become, just try not to force it too much, let it flow

*using, not Iain, damn iPod :L