A rap i wrote for a school perfirmance

Bit of a backstory. Basically one person is a bully and the entire rap is about two boys having a conversation about her. The different verses will be put on at different times of her life throughout the video.Ill set it out like this
Person a:
Person b:
a:
B:

VERSE 1
a: I reckon that girls the product of a crooked seed
b: That might not be the case bro, thats just how she's perceived
a: Yeah, but you must admit she thinks she's bare fit
b: Maybe she's just insecure and scared of what they think
a: Watching her strutt around, man it makes me flip
b: I reckon your hiding the fact you want a little bit
a: Nah bro, i'd rather see her down a ditch
b: Why you tryna crusify her like the wicked witch?

CHORUS
OUt of frustration, there came agression
Out of agrrivation, there was depression
Debagged, Boyfreind chipped, Mental seperation
Seems she got a taste of her own medication

(Ok so this next verse is after she is debagged during a catwalk. Debagged means to pull someones trousers down)

VERSE 2
a: Did you hear bout the fashion show? It was quite a scene
b: If your talkin bout Aiysha, i think that stunt was mean
a: I dont have any sympathy, she acts like shes the queen
b: No matter what you say bruv, she's still a human being
a: What comes around goes aeound
She got what she deserved
b: The predator became the prey
The tables have been turned
a: A lesson to be learned
Now her ego has been burned
b: She aint been round for days
a: And i dont think she'll return

CHORUS REPEAT

(Ok so now she has went into depression after being humiliated and broke up with, to the point where she has killed herself)

b: Yo have you seen the telegraph?
a: No! Why?
b: Well you know that girl Aiysha
a: Yeah
b: Well she died
a: What happened to her?
b: Papers say it was suicide. Here
(Hands over the paper)
B: Says the walked in, to find her dead
Choked her throat on the rope beside her bed
Bullied over Facebook, she couldn't escape
Now dont you wish you took back what you said?
a: Wow, i always wished for her demise
But her death actually brings tears to my eyes
I only ever heard her voice, never her cries
I filled her head with these vendictive lies
b: Bad enough that she got bullied
But then her boyfreind said she cheated
In this stories sorry end
She wasn't the only one defeated

Thats pretty cool!
How did it go?

You became a lot better Saybers !!! U improve everytime, I loved reading this story !

Deep.. Saybers...Deep indeed...teenage bullies were different back in my day..Didn't have face book or nothing like that..It was done face to face or behind your back. But it was over when you got home. Until the next day at school it started all over again. I can't tell you how many teeth I knocked out and how many noses I've broken being bullied in my day. I was pushed too far. Now They just go get there fathers gun. like sissy’s. I've had my but beat just as much. but there is one think I cant stand is a bully. for it to push someone to the point of suicide it has gone out of control. I'm sorry that happened. Saybers,This touched me. As far as your song goes. right now it's good but I can see it being great. It all came down to the bottom nicely..good flow, Rhymes fell right where they needed too. but. there are so many techniques that can make it better. but I can still see you having a standing ovation at the show...with what you have. good job...Just make sure your timing is on. this is critical. Show your emotion when you do it. stay on track...Man...