Personal Moon

Personal Moon

I will ease your pain
I will loose your chains
You will wait me anxiously
To unchain your hands

I'll come with the twilight
Be gone with the dawn
I'll be your personal moon
The only light in the room

[Chorus]
When I am gone
You will not exist
When I come again
You will be re-born x2

I will heel your wounds
I will open your eyes
You will wait me in pain
When I come, it'll go away

I'll come with the twilight
Be gone with the dawn
I'll be your personal moon
The only light in the room

[Chorus]
When I am gone
You will not exist
When I come again
You will be re-born x2

[Solo]

[Chorus]
When I am gone
You will not exist
When I come again
You will be re-born x2

I really like this. I would love to have a personal moon like this.

Thank you Jim - this are the very first song lyrics i wrote and i really put a lot of emotion in them...

"I'll be your personal moon
The only light in your room"?

Just a suggestion. I like your lines of thought and feeling and (obviously to some) the moon is one of my favorite subjects, so this one caught my interest. Most of all I wanna say just keep writing-writing-writing and in time I believe you'll get better and better.

If you hear the full song - the room sounds better with the melody.
As for the writing - it is true - the more you write the better you get

I'll certainly take your word for it because I know a lyric never quite gets there till the music happens.
Expecting more great lines in the future

Not to sound rude but think you meant 'heal' your wounds as in help or fix rather than the 'heel' of ones foot