Haiku

look me deep
in the lies
tell the ruth*

*sic!

Originally Posted by MoonRide*r*

Please pardon a reckless intrusion into the "train of thought", but this one was inspired on-the-spot by something I just read.

As earth turns
and universe churns
man relearns

This is NOT an intrusion! This is what the thread is for--practicing haiku! Or sharing your haiku, from wherever the inspiration. Thank you, Moon!

did you frame my soul
gangs of human worms
did you paint it red?

This one is difficult for me . . .

3-5-3 senryu:

Of my soul
No nightingales sing
Nor footfalls

_ _ _ _ _

Would be great if we could work up to 5-7-5 again--that was so wonderful!

It's outside our comfort zone we grow 'nor' is a tricky word to have on your first line, but here we go...

nor footfalls
did I hear, not a thing
a shy sky only

"Outside our comfort zone we grow"--very wise. Yet, I promise I did not give you "nor" as a punishment!! I struggled to find anything to end meaningfully. **sorry** And thank you for the "5" syllables! A 5-6-5 haiku:

A shy sky only
Speaks to first crocuses
Boldly breaking ground

we're a-o-k

boldly breaking ground
tear it to smithereens
let the sunshine in

And you did a beautiful job with "nor." I'm glad mine wasn't "nor." That would have been too hard for me.
5-7-5 haiku (this is so much easier!):

Let the sunshine in
Gaps in the green canopy
Kiss the forest floor

kiss the forest floor
embrace the forest ceiling:
butterfly angels

Butterfly angels
Saffron, azure, crimson wings
Splash heat with relief

splash heat with relief
onto yourself, soul of man
burn the lies away

Burn the lies away
Fires of universal truth
Unite us as one

unite us as one
all the waves of all the seas
you already are

You already are
Here! roadside fern, fairy-wren
Countries down-under

_ _ _ _ _

I am enjoying this so much! I hope others also join in, whether with the game or on their own.

Seasons pass
I adapt, to a new form
Beyond the knife and the fork

Not sure if I am doing it right, but whatever. I liked it

Eccer,

Thanks for sharing Your poem is short and concise, and interesting. It does not conform to the standard format of English haiku, and the syllable count breaks down as follows:

Sea-sons pass [3]
I a-dapt, to a new form [7]
Be-yond the knife and the fork [7]

The "standard" for English haiku/senryu is that the middle line is longer than lines 1 and 3, and the overall syllable count is somewhere between 11 and 17 or so. Two common variations are 3-5-3 and 5-7-5. The Japanese original is slightly different, and not entirely translatable into English, having a different structure (they don't count syllables but something called on, which isn't exactly the same as a syllable in English).

However many experimental forms exist in modern English and some may look like your poem. This is a decent and quick history of haiku:

http://www.webexhibits.org/poetry/ex..._examples.html

I like to think of haiku/senryu as "photography" in the sense that the poem is a frozen moment of time, painted with a few, precise strokes, as opposed to more traditional English poetry which is longer, more like "videography". As long as one generally aims for that photographic quality, both in content and in form, I think that one may freely explore and experiment with different syllable counts etc.

Thanks for sharing!

countries down-under
why don't you fall off the Earth?
you are upside down

You are upside down
Opossum hanging from tree
I am downside up

I am downside up
oops - something is very right
may it thus remain

I'll write a letter
One you wont ever see
Simple miss you words

I'll tell of my heart
Shattered beyond repair
Waiting, wanting, you

I'll dry my wet eyes
Tear the letter I wrote
Hope for time to heal