Haiku

I love how everyone has a very distinctive style when it comes to poetry writing. You dont even need to see who's written it to guess the author. I guess our personalities will always reflect in our writing, no matter how we try. Also, different styles appeal to different readers. Some might love say a certain style, and some might find it average. Doesnt lessen the beauty of it, merely that different people connect on different levels.

May it thus remain
A heavy burden carried
Shared by you and me

Was the last line intentionally 6 syllables long?

shared by you and me
crystal-clear river, green hills
canopy of silence

No sorry, I counted shared as one.

Canopy of silence
Deep cave with gaping mouth
Swallow into your belly

Wrong count. Try again?

The world ends they said
Yesterday, or so I heard
It ended today

Canopy of silence
Deep cave with gaping mouth
Swallow into your belly

Yes, that's 6-6-7. Mine was 6-8-6. It's cool if we go back to 5-7-5. Try again

Originally Posted by Frankie Jasmine

Canopy of silence
Deep cave with gaping mouth
Swallow into your belly

Wrong count. Try again?

Swallowed in belly?

The world ends they said

Yesterday, or so I heard
It ended today

...and here we stand
bugger! better luck next time?
soddy prophecies!

Originally Posted by OrchestraInside

...and here we stand
bugger! better luck next time?
soddy prophecies!

I've started to think,
Mayans not so different
after all, lost oaths.

Broken promises
Are all they ever offer
Like politicians

I've started to think,
Mayans not so different
after all, lost oaths.

Broken promises
Are all they ever offer
Like politicians

wasn't them you know
new age fools misunderstood
the whole bloody thing

Yes, Viv, the cave's gaping mouth can swallow nearly anything into its belly, as a whale would. I guess you don't have caves in London, though. Just the Underground; it ain't the same. Kentucky has the largest natural cave system in the world--Mammoth Caves. HUGE!! There's one underground "room" called "The Crystal Ballroom" because it's huge and the whole ceiling is covered in glittering crystals!

I was totally off on the count with that one! Thanks, OI. I'm very tired tonight . . . Try 6-8-5, then back to 5-7-5:

Canopy of silence
Open caves, glistening, gaping mouths
Swallow down all things

I dislike the ending. I can hear "Swallow me whole" . . . but I can't get a good last line. I like the idea of swallow and belly. OI, want to improve this lame ending?

Originally Posted by OrchestraInside

wasn't them you know
new age fools misunderstood
the whole bloody thing

So pray, tell me why
If they misunderstood, did
my world end today?

OI and Viv, I'll try again if it's OK . . .

So pray, tell me why
If they misunderstood, did
my world end today?

to teach a lesson
so you might
live truer next time

It's fine Frankie

Originally Posted by Frankie Jasmine

OI and Viv, I'll try again if it's OK . . .

Free reign tonight. I'm feeling rebellious and not binding myself to the game. Take your time

Sharp ebony nights
Bare rough edges of mute pain
Hiding bitter tears

By changing the 6-syllable ending to a 5-7-5:

Silent canopy
Open caves with gaping mouths
Swallow treasures whole

Originally Posted by VivaPalestina

I love how everyone has a very distinctive style when it comes to poetry writing. You dont even need to see who's written it to guess the author. I guess our personalities will always reflect in our writing, no matter how we try. Also, different styles appeal to different readers. Some might love say a certain style, and some might find it average. Doesnt lessen the beauty of it, merely that different people connect on different levels.

Ditto, Noor.

(I'm glad you guys didn't wait on me; I'm slow in composing.)

yay Frankie, good choice!

Aww look I can do emo too, its not all glittering stars and yellow sunshine.

Boiling lava,
gurgles, erupts high
Blind anger

Am I an emo?? Well, yes, I guess I am . . .