Haiku

Good god. You really don't understand, do you. I allow it to make me sad.

I suppose this isn't the place for it. I wonder what is.

I suppose I dont, there just seems to be too much wrong in the world for me to add those too. Consumerism I can understand, cruelty I cannot.

Originally Posted by Doug Denslowe

Faint jingle
In my torn ragged jeans
Empty pockets

Doug! Great one! You're really getting the hang of this. Also, did you notice OI did his "handy combo" thing? When two people post on the same last phrase, he takes EACH of their 3rd lines for his first 2 lines! So magnanimous, don't you think? Afraid I'm not so accommodating. :S I usually post with the 3rd line of the person who posted first. (But, then again, OI is rather talented at haiku/senryu.)

Originally Posted by VivaPalestina

All day long
you stay on my mind
never leave

Never leave
Hath fallen but that human
Hearts fall too

Hearts fall too
A one-eyed Jack winked at the
King and Queen of Diamonds

king and queen of diamonds
had a child
who didn't suit them

Also, did you notice OI did his "handy combo" thing? When two people post on the same last phrase, he takes EACH of their 3rd lines for his first 2 lines! So magnanimous, don't you think? Afraid I'm not so accommodating. :S I usually post with the 3rd line of the person who posted first. (But, then again, OI is rather talented at haiku/senryu.)

Thanks Frankie. It's easier actually, I only need to come up with one line instead of two. Unless, of course, those two lines are difficult to fit together... But that's seldom the case, just need some creative thinking

who didnot suit them
eternal struggle remains
no victory in sight

no victory in sight
keep chopping wood, carrying water
victories disperse

victories disperse
like ladies on a dancefloor
sweet euphoria

sweet euphoria -
I cleaned my room!
*dancing*

Congratulations,Ola!


I'm still at it, but then again it's an appartment,lol





dancing
feeling relief
spring soon

Spring soon
Summer gone
Fall again

Doug,LOL! Always on The Bright Side Of Life,eh?

fall again
this side of my grave
dice of life

Dice of life,
theory of chaos
fate's hand

fate's hand
possibilian
devotee

Devotee
Harry potter mad -
but no more

But no more
whiskey
in the jar

Did I do it right this time?... lol

Perfect

Looks good to me, 3-2-3 which is a bit like the American haiku (typically 5-3-5 or 7-5-7).

in the jar
marinated hopes
pickled dreams