Haiku

Originally Posted by amaryn

Wasn't it a Japanese tea ceremony, Viva?

who's doing the hosting?

Originally Posted by OrchestraInside

We're straying far indeed.

I have a suggestion, whilst playing the game, why dont we have a theme or concept to try and work upon (besides the syllable count), i.e you and Frankie taking roles of self appointed advisors () could every once in a while introduce concepts, hints, common variations, something (I suck at Haiku and history simultaneously so I'm not sure I'm even making sense or if it even exists, whether its portrayal of something, humour, rhyme, rhythm, human nature or nature etc), not for the whole duration, just for those interested in learning more about Haiku itself - the idea itself might prove too limiting. Or it could be a nice challenge.

And Frankie thought I could be succinct

All the time
constant renewal
evergreen

Sounds grand and complicated. Probably just the way you put it. I'm all for living as uncomplicated a life as one can, in poetry and love, war and peace.

My gut feeling is that we're being very, very liberal with this art form and losing track of its original intricacies. It is, naturally, easier to write with fewer constraints, but in the long run, I think the whole thing may become watered down to something unrecognisable. Perhaps spending more time and effort when writing would serve us better; a good photographer may take thousands of shots per each published picture - in this age of digital photography, maybe tens of thousands - and maybe a good haiku/senryu poet will spend many an hour contemplating each line.

Well,O.I, if you're willing to sweat for decades to get 1 good haiku going, I wouldnot call that uncomplicated,lol

Your style to write poetry is "let my hand write down thoughts without me enrolled in thinking", that suits me here on this thread, I believe

@Viva: Hosting a teaparty? Sure Frankie would be gr8

It is uncomplicated, in the sense that I won't be doing anything that would require an effort. Thinking doesn't require an effort on my part - not thinking would I do write quickly, but every bit of poetry is preceded by hours of thinking or contemplation - not on poetry most of the time, poetry is simply a way to express some of the things I think about. I guess it's what I do instead of watching TV, or whatever people tend to spend their time doing

...just to clarify, everyone is obviously welcome to post any haiku/senryu they wish. I suck at doing things that require an effort on my part so I tend to avoid them. I am a very poor ring leader as I detest leading and being led. I do feel that my own haiku-/senryu-writing has stalled and needs some fresh air, and my gut feeling tells me that I need to move in the direction of the Japanese originals (obviously in English translation).

I think I'll spend some time reading them and see where that leads.

Evergreen
Pastures upon
Smoking fields

Smoking fields
The Army cuts down the stalks
Precious plants of joy

Dear haiku/senryu buddies:

Just logged on to hear slight discontent in the ranks. Thanks for that--I want honesty! Noor, you make a very good point. Although senryu can at times be humorous, it is by no means the norm. And we need to remember that both forms--haiku and senryu--are verbal PICTURES. Let's try to express what we "see," using word strokes to paint.

I agree with OI, at this particular point. I do not want to set a "theme" for haiku; it does seem limiting, stifling of creativity, and too "controlled." The parameters of haiku/senryu itself is enough to go with. I do enjoy taking the last line of the person before--it makes us more interactive. I will give some thought as to what we might do to help, 'cause, Viv, I don't want you to get bored.

Everyone has improved since we started (although I agree a little deterioration takes place; perhaps that is to be expected upon the waves of creativity). Let us be more lax with participants who do not participate as often. They are truly trying and learning, and their contributions are so much appreciated.

For the ones of us more familiar with the process, we can always comment on one another's haiku. If someone is becoming to "lax," say so. But primarily, each one of us should take responsibility for our own "products." I've written my share of duds.

Let's work harder at haiku or senryu as "word pictures" which tell a story, bring an emotion, or a new realization. We've done it before.

This is my "short" treatise Viv was referring to. I will not be online as often or for as long of period of times for the weeks to come. I trust you guys to satisfy and regulate you own selves to your own satisifaction! The word "purity" of haiku comes into my mind; just remembering the basics. If things get a little off track, we can "reel" each other in!

Also, remember you can add your own very thoughtful, artistic haiku at any time! We will know because it will not follow the "using the last line" pattern and the last line will not be in bold.

Noor, I have an idea for you. I will write you a PM, my little friend.

Precious plants*
First before moving creatures
Breathe us life

_ _ _ _ _

* Doug, I dropped the "of joy" in keeping with haiku not "making a judgment." However, your SF 1960s-70s humor is not lost on me. You have a clever way of expressing yourself. Please continue with us. You've actually impressed me with your poems!

Also, I am not totally satisfied with my senryu-haiku. I'm open to re-writes or suggestions. I am trying to relate our reliance upon plants because they provide life-giving oxygen to sustain us. Anyone else want to take a more creative crack at this thought?

Frankie! Thanks for your always thoughtful feedback and participation
As regards the importance of plants to sustain life, Stevie Wonder made this wonderful LP full with songs about plants ("Life Of Plants") already in the seventies and in a way you link yourself to the thought of NOOR to take a theme and weave something around it.
I have slept and thought about it and we could give it a try(!?) What do ya think?

Your treehuggermate Amaryn

Amaryn, I never thought of this as a theme . . . but you and anyone who wishes to work on it, go for it! Especially do I request help to bring my poor haiku (above) up-to-snuff! It is quite lacking. But anyone who wishes to join in with this theme is welcome. Let's keep the nature (plant) haiku separate (no bold third line) . . . This way we can interject our views or poems on life-giving plants, without dependence upon anyone else.

Anyone else game for this?

Important: Let's keep the "last line" game going separately, putting our last line in bold for the next person to pick up on.

Any other ideas on how to do this? I'm open . . .

Mighty sentinels of Earth
Perched on your sinews
Cuckoos cry your cause

Frankie,

I'd suggest going for the existential essence and focusing less on the mechanics; maybe something like

precious plants
the living lungs of
creation

OI, I like this very much. "Living lungs" can refer to either their expirations or inspirations (both necessary to life). This is a very fine haiku. Thank you very much.

Because your haiku is so beautiful, I defer to your last line for the continuing game:

"Creation"

You captured so very well what I wanted to express. Thank you again.

You're welcome

creation:
an acorn dies, an
oak is born

soft rainfall
orchids spread their velvet smell
air is sweet

Oak is born
Earth parts in its wake
Foundations

foundations
so cruelly torn
tender green

Tender green
Purchase goods and services
On the street and elsewhere

On the street
And elsewhere fly footsteps
Scampering leaves