Haiku

Aaah guys I leave you lot for a bit and your standards all drop. Not impressed mates, not impressed at all.

Laugh loud
tossed aside
fate

fate
sticks a knife into life
scarlet

scarlet
dusk poppies
bleed

Bleed
Veins of the Earth
Lava

Originally Posted by VivaPalestina

Aaah guys I leave you lot for a bit and your standards all drop. Not impressed mates, not impressed at all.

Laugh loud
tossed aside
fate

lol, Viva, you take the words from my lips

Some random thoughts on a Wednesday morning:

the belt lashes
lesson taught and learned:
hurt



* * *



above, the freedom from
seeing life leave their eyes
drones by



* * *



to one percent, billions
to billions, one percent:
progress



* * *



the cityscape
black shards of cold
jutting rocks



* * *



two seagulls
one Dreamliner
bloody feathers

change
the world
us did

Lava;
erupting
ire

I'm such good company, I can keep myself entertained.

Ire
bellowing
tempest

Tempest
shaking trees
thoughts

Thoughts
circle fire
flirting

and I can go on...

the writer
published, at last
pays his bills

Awkward moment when you've forgotten you've written something and reread it and think "Oh I like this...where's the like button? Oh I wrote it. Oops" My vanity has no bounds.

I like the senryu very much, just not so much the syllable/symmetry

A silly world in which you can't like your own works; if you don't like them, who the 'eck will? If you don't like what you write, why would you write it then...

You'd want the middle line to be longer than the last? Am I reading you correctly?

Probably. Maybe I just became used to that concept because of all the haiku you and Frankie taught before. I'm not sure what it is, suffice to say it made me tilt my head to the right and read it. But then again I'm strange.

I've never thought of it like that. Normally I see people who dislike rereading what they wrote, whereas I seem to marvel at myself and make myself laugh again. I like your reasoning.

Learn the rules, then you can break them.

Accurate self-criticism is good, constant thrashing of everything you do isn't. I tend to enjoy rereading my own stuff a couple of times, eventually I'll get bored and move on. You've got to know how tall you are and be fine with it

lol, a few variations on the theme, very much against the symmetry rule:

the writer
finally published
heads to the Jobcentre Plus for another appointment



the writer
published at last
splashes out on ketchup to go with his pasta

Look, Noor - it's symmetrical!

http://www.allthelyrics.com/forum/po...tml#post986152

It's PERFECT.

Hallelujah!
The perfect poem
mine at last.