Poppin' Bottles (Drake Verse Remake)

Verse 1:

Okay, so here I go, here I go,
she's falling slowly upon my ground,
flowing down, like some snow, like some snow
& girl is so independent,
but got a personality, just so cold, just so cold,
yeah, but ain't even worried about breaking that ice,
pop a couple bottles, have a heated discussion,
melting point, having her dramatically enticed,
only in need of you coming home with me tonight,
provide you with a warm welcome,
then delicately with passion, full you with delight,
yeah, but this is just an every night event,
& when these girls exhibit such a loan
we proceed on taking more then which they lent,
haha, so easily persuaded, sipping patron, know your hating,
after the fact of your girl leaving, saying I'm her favorite,
yours & hers relationship? ain't no saving it,
& her sex is like an instrument,
& she's constantly beautifully playing it,
bullshit solo for you, but oh so different for me,
cause we got some drinks & on the brink,
of her & her friends playing a ****ing symphony.

[Chorus]

I mean, it sounds like you are trying to be freewheeling and daring, but I kind of think that's a little too much, unless you're a real rapper. I would give it a 7.9/10, and kind does need to rhyme.

Umm, it does rhyme. It mostly contains "every second line" rhyming.

yeah, but ain't even worried about breaking that ice,
pop a couple bottles, have a heated discussion,
melting point, having her dramatically enticed,

It may sound weird to you depending on the fact of how you come to reading it.