My House By The Sea

I used to live in a house by the sea
where it was just my love and me
we were the only living things, in this house by the sea
and that summer is when she made my fingers unfreeze
sitting in tall grass, wrapping daisy chains around her neck
while the violent sea crashed on the shore below us
she’d turn and kiss my cheeks and say
“Darling, don’t you go forgetting me
I know you have your big city dreams
darling, don’t you go forgetting this, please
because this is everything to me”
and I’d think “I won’t remember anyone else”

Burned my brain branding her into my cells
and the worst thing is, I don’t want to erase those thoughts
but of course this was back when she used to say
“baby, I can feel your disasters”
with her hand on my heart like she was guarding my past
and I’d run my hands down her back, looking up at the stars
while she’d sing a song low, sweet and out of key
a classic that she loved and I’d always say
“Babe, I think you were born in the wrong era
you were born to dance with Elvis
and sing with Johnny and Buddy Holly
while starting a revolution in your beautiful mind
you’re above this place and time.”
She’d smile and run her hand down my face
saying “My sweet naive boy.”

I don’t know when that summer ended
cause in my mind it never stopped
our memories will always be alive in my house by the sea
but fall did kill the leaves and the trees
and winter did come quickly as can be
and her heart did turn away and freeze
and I didn’t try to stop her when she went to leave
and I regretted my decision and cursed the slamming door
and I think I did punch a hole through the wall
as the seas roared up to the shore, I screamed for her
but she didn’t hear me through glass bottles full of ships
for the rest of that winter I called out her name
from the highest hilltops, to the jagged shorelines
but my efforts were often futile, she remained tight lipped
and she never did return to my house by the sea
but I’d wait for her in my bed at night
hoping that familiar stranger with her familiar smell
would crawl up beside me and whisper in my ear
“baby, I can feel your disasters”
placing her hand on my heart and counting the stars aloud.

I love the flow of this, full of soul-catching imagery but free enough that I could insert myself exactly in that time and place. I might recommend improving a word or small phase or two, but I don't have anything brllliant to offer so I'll just say, if this was youtube I would surely mark this as a favorite. Very very nice.

Thank you again for your comment =) I greatly appreciate it. Yeah, I've tried thinking of other words to replace other words, and I've tried putting a a word to complete the sentence more. I just can't do it without disrupting the flow. So feel free to suggest anything you come up with please =) thank you again for taking the time out to read and comment on my song.