It Goes On - New Rap

Well, this is another rap written to another one of my beats, the last of which i still haven't uploaded whoops. Anyway here is another rap with a few new things here and there. I personally feel the hook is a bit weak but anyway, enough ramble, here it is:

It Goes On

(Verse 1)
Throw down to the life, no back, straight forward
Lay out the platter, just as 8 more would
Throw you out, jump up again
Fire the guns and come back again
Pen and paper to flow on the lyrics burst
With Hook on rhyme and verse to throw the lyrics first
Passing the paper, let us have a go and give the chance to shine
Let loose lines
Obscene nature, just clean paper
Line up straighter in the classroom start off
Letting everyone learn to be a part of
The world in general, no stopping the hearts of the hard off
Those that prey upon the gods, upon the deity
Getting more and more, worse upon the day it seems
People hard up in the recession's worst times
We just carry on, not afraid to lose what's mine

(Hook)
Left to right, life goes on
You see those over time cos life goes wrong
Need to get back up again
Find the friend to help you through
Someone old or find a new
Go over stuff you thought you knew
Help you battle on past the pain
Move to the warm out from the rain
Careless buggers go pass on by
No less trouble for what you cry
About as time goes round the clock
Spout more out till time shall stop
Watch our dreams go down the drain
No more care for, outer pain
Live the life as life goes wrong
Give no **** 'cos life goes on

(Verse 2)
Fire up the galleries, sing your heart out
Take out the dog and go to places
Where you can be who wanna be to to the day that you pass out
Stick with the crazes, work past the mazes
Letting life go by in stages
Kid, adult, grand's and take your wages
Life life to the day is done
Take your time 'cos life's short - there's only one
A few years to play your game over time
No more time again to lie flat on your face
Let 'em cook over, burn the turkey
Place your heart on the line for what you wanna take out of life
Bugatti Veyron sat on mind for speed
250 flat on line: a need
Life's a treat
Give it good go, begin a great book of life to read

(Hook)
Left to right, life goes on
You see those over time cos life goes wrong
Need to get back up again
Find the friend to help you through
Someone old or find a new
Go over stuff you thought you knew
Help you battle on past the pain
Move to the warm out from the rain
Careless buggers go pass on by
No less trouble for what you cry
About as time goes round the clock
Spout more out till time shall stop
Watch our dreams go down the drain
No more care for, outer pain
Live the life as life goes wrong
Give no **** 'cos life goes on

(Verse 3)
Be the player, nerd, gamer or cool kid
Living the life and time as a younger school-kid
Just having the time of your life
Learning the ways of the world in the classroom
Find, what you wanna do in later life
Get the grade As then move up the rungs of the ladder
Climb the stairway to adulthood
Find the highway of life and take the ride of time
PMs go by as the quest goes on
In your search for the job of your dreams
Mould the song of your life
Live in the moment or take your time to see where it leads
I wanna be a pro, be the one at the top
Of the tower power where it all begun
Life's the one time where one's the number of chances so don't give up
'cos lifetime's a life with only one

(Hook)
Left to right, life goes on
You see those over time cos life goes wrong
Need to get back up again
Find the friend to help you through
Someone old or find a new
To go over the stuff you thought you knew
Help you battle on past the pain
Move to the warm out from the rain
Careless buggers go pass on by
No less trouble for what you cry
About as time goes round the clock
Spout more out till time shall stop
Watch our dreams go down the drain
No more care for, outer pain
Live the life as life goes wrong
Give no **** 'cos life goes on

Oh, and before I forget I will try to post up the two beats on YouTube, and the next one I plan to use to write another rap. Feel free to use my beats btw, if you want ( when they're uploaded )

http://www.youtube.com/user/Prodigy17195

Here is the link to my YouTube channel (newly created). The beat i used for this rap is labelled "ReRun". The next three beats i wanna use are on there as well

Hey man it did sound alot better with the beat and the content itself is good and carries a positive message but it still seems to lack a certain punch for me. Certain parts didn’t quite flow right and seemed repetitive like this section “Life's the one time where one's the number of chances so don't give up cos lifetime's a life with only one” Overall a decent piece just try to work on your rhymes and metaphors abit more

Thanks a helpful comment, I know have stuff to work on. I can see what you mean by those lines and I'm gonna work on some stuff to repair it which I will post on another date. And the punches, yeah my writing lacks that at the moment and I shall try and work on it. Thanks