New rap

A new rap I've written. I've reverted back to my storytelling style. Probably need to work on the first verse and the metaphors but let me know what you think anyway


Verse 1:

I was at a party feeling ever so fresh,
Hair spiked up clean-shaven lookin my very best,
When I saw this pretty lady wearing a yellow dress,
Holding a child and looking somewhat stressed.

And she seemed like she could be a potential wifey,
So I went up to her and asked her politely
Hey that baby’s really cute is it yours?
Sittin alone 4 a while hope you aint bored?

so she smiled shyly said yeah its mine
And I weren’t really able 2 catch the next line.
Was too busy thinking damn! Is she married?
Cause I werent ready to be a daddy yet I was madly,

Infatuated with the thought of being with her,
confused cause she had no ring around her finger.
Wearing no jewellery either said it really stings her.
Waist bare slim hoped my chances werent slimmer

Verse 2:

She seemed like the reason I was still a virgin,
And the more I spoke to her the more determined-
I was to get to know her even better
Body slender you could almost call her splenda,

Cause she seemd so sweet hardly a trace of fat,
And I just weren’t prepared 2 face the fact-
that me and her together just couldnt happen
She was married and had a kid called Malcolm.

Said her name was Catherine and she worked in Maplin
A damning situation that I found myself trapped in,
Cause she werent going through the usual mess,
Told me her man was well paid treated her bless.

So I faked a smile told her Im glad to hear it,
Secretly hopin that he’d turn out a sheer prick,
Mayb even get him done 4 a crime he did not commit
So she'd break it off realise Im the one she should be with
Haha

Any1?

lol i liked this was so random!

some things didnt make sense to me though - your at this party... and someone comes to this party with a kid... looking stressed?!

who brings a kid to a party looking stressed? you wouldnt bother youd stay at home with the kid... right? (unless she was lookin to score crack...?)

the rest - well just seemed ya didnt care about her "situation" lol :P you were eying her up with the attention of gettin a quick shag! haha!

anyways was cool to read and ya rhymin skill picked up in verse 2 keep it up loved readin!