Got another rap, tell me what you think

New rap, took a bit of time. If you know the song Up All Night by Drake, then you will understand the rhyme scheme. This is my version:

Door shut
Shades on
Puffin out a dozen rings
Not a lotta money but I still prefer expensive things
Tryin to enjoy a good high
Nothin gonna ruin it
Shout out to the fact that I'm above the clouds doin it
Fall down to earth, the true reality just set in
Clock says 7:00 AM but I dont wanna get outta bed and
I-I-I-I stay on my grind, blowin kush im out my mind
Drivin past some hoes, oh you know the really chatty kind
Got no chain or ring, I dont need no bling
Engine roaring more than Simba in the Lion King
Yea, packages delivered, money rollin in
Lightin up with that good stuff I just finished rollin and
Money is like a drug, that I cant get enough of
But partna im not playin, my block tighter than a glove
Mess with me youll get the grave, empty funeral, you get no love
Got this place locked down, sell the baddest stuff around, yea

Thats right
Guess whos back
Better go prepare your hearse
Cuz I can kill a persin in 16 bars, or a single verse
Imma rip the game apart
Call it a disembodiement
Lookin for a rappin JC, I am the embodiement
Smoke up once more, higher than the stratosphere
Fallin down from way high up with no parachute, that is fear*
I-I-I-I puff and pass like Dre, Snoopy and Akon
Blazin up so high, my mind is now completely gone
Okay now Im soaring high, blastoff to you *****es
Rocket ship, countdown, ignition for you *****es
Yea, Im busy gettin high, makin money too
These ladies call me honey, I just ask em honey who?
Women are like a drug, that we all get tired of
Its like they all act the same, when we poppin bottles in the club
I gotta a fat blunt in these jeans, so they are miles beyond snug
I throw my money in the air, watch the women dance and give me love

I like it You did a good job with the lyrics. It can easily be distinguished from the drake song which is a good thing keep it up

I'm just gettin in the roll on this site and this is a really fine first read. Great flexibility it keeps me hoppin'

thanks guys, appreciate the feedback! i got another one, if you like it. I visited West Palm for a vacation, so I wrote this song. It goes over Empire State of Mind. Tell me if you like it:


Yea im up in West Palm
Now im down in Juno
At the pier on the shore, its calm
Partna you know

Donald Ross and Central
Heatin up like lentl
Cuz, man, I swear these long *** lights
Make a person go mental

Same with the one on Indiantown
That crosses through Military
No this is not in downtown
The fact you say that kinda scares me

But Pittsburgh is my hometown
Always and forever
I can show you around
But will I leave - never!

I can recommend a nice eatery
With beautiful scenery
Its name is River House
I can meet u there if u wanna eat with me

You see I can rap about anything
I can talk for an hour*
Even if we only talk about how people rap just for the power

Im all about the lyrics
Rappin with importance
Too bad me and my legacy are
Gonna be short lived

Jigga, I dont like your attitude
Why you actin really rude
i think you pissed cuz all the girls you get are really*dudes

(Roc-a-Fella)

This rhyme is different from Jigga
Cause I dont replace legends
He may be a tough *****
But he trimmed down like a hedge, and

No youre no sinatra
Jigga, thats not your mantra
Why, you pretendin to be someone youre not,
Like in Phantom of the Opera

Listen, I rap proppa
Ima jaw droppa
Make it stay open like a door
Call me a door stoppa

Im a fresh beginner
Im completely innocent
Soon ill be a sinner
Confession for my repent

You can have DWade,
I got the whole team
The money he make
Make a person just ****ing wanna scream

But this is the reality
This is the new normality
Bein paid an overpriced salary
No longer an abnormality

Yea I'm spittin fast mode
Im charged up like an electrode
My battery die when I hit the dead end of this road

But then i hit an adjacent street
Hop up on a new beat
Perform an amazing feat
Have em so surprised like trick or treat


Third verse beginnin
That vodka got the room spinnin
All these hoes around me are the cause of my sinnin

You can call me Slick Sharp
Im mellow like a classic harp
But I could be a hurricane, better get your blue tarp

Cuz imma tear this scene up
Call FEMA for the clean up
3 years later it still wont be done
Me and 'Ye gon have to team up

Make some new changes to government
And all the asses in power under it
We gon make this nation rumble like its gonna start thunderin

Power to the people
What happened to democracy
Bureaucracy makes us feeble
Welcome to hypocrisy

People act retarded
Just for the stardom
They spend time in the limelight,
then theyre back home in the autumn

Our country needs to change soon
Rep that red, white, and blue
If theres no change i promise there will be a ****in monsoon

Expect an apocalypse
Brewed directly from my lips
Givin out chills*
Like a fully stacked clip filled with hollow tips

Tell me what you think...

the first one to up all night was repetitive, you can't talk about getting high in every line unless it's a weed song, the second one is better, but I just want to point out that you said the women jigga gets are probably dudes, he doesn't get women, that dude is married to beyonce

The song is all about weed, as I am saying that I am Up All Night getting high...