Say You'll Stay

Thread: Say You'll Stay

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  1. MoonRide*r*'s Avatar

    MoonRide*r* said:

    Default Say You'll Stay

    This still feels a little awkward. Maybe someone can help with a line or two? E.g. 2nd verse 4th line? And I think it needs another verse to make the point of the first line. I dunno, I'm just stuck...

    ~ ~ ~

    You were too crazy to be loved
    But it came so easy anyhow
    I didn't know which way was up
    But you had the song and I sang it loud

    So when you called the other night
    I got up from my dusty grave
    Caught the faintest trace of light
    Brushed a cobweb and breathed your name

    -Chorus
    There is no need to say
    We can't relive the day
    But I'll ask you to stay
    Anyway
    Say you'll stay anyway

    I've got nothing now to claim
    In all the sweetness that is you
    But every moment calls your name
    And every lie is a lover's truth

    I must be just as crazy as you
    But I don't really seem to care
    We can't make an old thing new
    But it's cold as hell in that grave over there

    (Chorus x2)

    If it's too much to ask
    We can both wear a mask
    Just say you'll stay
    Anyway
    Say you'll stay anyway

    ~ ~ ~
    There is no glamour in sudden death, and nobody ever wins a war.
    :
    Rockers Unite! =>
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  2. Mon said:

    Default

    Never thought i would be a fool
    but i was searching
    for a decent melody

    Hope this helps.
     
  3. Experimentalist's Avatar

    Experimentalist said:

    Default

    Awful, as usual.
     
  4. Experimentalist's Avatar

    Experimentalist said:

    Default

    One more thing Moon, if my stuff is so average how come its my lyrics that get the most views on this forum and not yours? Also, how come people send me PM's for advice on songwriting and also saying that they feel I could help them progress as a writer?

    Just a thought for you and your hurt feelings.
     
  5. MoonRide*r*'s Avatar

    MoonRide*r* said:

    Default

    You can be so funny sometimes .... Have you gone back and looked at my history? Or did you make a rash assumption on absolutely nothing at all?

    And hmmm well let's see ....... it seems like I said at the very beginning that it still felt "awkward" and could anyone offer any help ....

    But I guess you did the best you know how to do. So thank you for your opinion, lol

    PS: There was another guy on this site with an overblown ego who ended up being banned. His ongoing need to criticize others and brag on his "accomplishments" eventually turned against him, because his ego just couldn't handle the blowback from various people that he continually insulted, and one night he just lost it. Poof. He was from Manchester btw, a musician, so I guess it's even possible that you know him.
    Last edited by MoonRide*r*; 03-08-2011 at 09:27 PM.
    There is no glamour in sudden death, and nobody ever wins a war.
    :
    Rockers Unite! =>
    ROCK 'n' Roll Halls of Fame