Wispers in the dark. This is about my messed up child hood.

V1
I’m can’t sleep then weight shifts to one side of my bed.
I think it’s father sneaking in to get inside of my head.
my room’s black and all I hear is whispers in the dark.
Now I’m Mentally marked and brain washed, but this is just the start.
Consistently ripping apart the hearts of his family.
Single-handedly Managed to Damage all that was grand to me.
Like the bond between a father and son.
But never would have thought he’d become.
a demon in disguise just look in his eyes all you see is sinister.
ordering for me to kill my mom and sisters.
Was he there for me or to transform me in to jack the riper.
In Hopes that I’d grow up like him to become a sex offender.
The rest is senders from my child hood memories that went up with smoke.
Sending me notes from prison for forgiveness so this is what I wrote.
it’s to late for remorse, I hope you enjoy your new home.
Cause the closest you'll get to us again is When we piss on your tomb stone.

Whispers in the dark.
A hopeless victim of hypnosis lying in bed as the moster approaches.
Ripping us apart.
A threat to his own son mind ****ed daily while the Older sisters barely hold on.
A merry-go-round of taught violent psychotic thoughts wishing I could disembark.
But I can't I'm on a rant and all I could do back then was bury my head in the sand.


v2
Back from school at the door forbidden to come in.
Henry said come back in thirty minutes go and play with your friends.
Didn’t have a clue what was going on with him Cheri and Jen.
Nether did my poor mother until it Became like a every day Trend.
Threatening to kill my sister with his pistol if she ever gave in.
to tell the truth to anybody but we were just kids .
This kind of corruption is something she could never turn to pretend.
And even if she did tell mother it was her word against his.
It’s like flipping a coin to decide ether we live or we die.
On our knees paying every night waiting for god to reply.
But no mysterious guy fell from the sky to save us.
Just a sick father that would do anything in his power to break us.
I can’t escape the thought of killing him this feeling I can’t shake it.
And know matter how hard I try to forget I can’t erase it.
And to all that listened to this dark confession I’ve released from the top.
Yo it’s Like Ripley's I don’t give a **** if you believe it or not.

Whispers in the dark.
A hopeless victim of hypnosis lying in bed as the moster approaches.
Ripping us apart.
A threat to his own son mind ****ed daily while the Older sisters barely hold on.
A merry-go-round of taught violent psychotic thoughts wishing I could disembark.
But I can't I'm on a rant and all I could do back then was bury my head in the sand.




v3
10 years in prison was never enough.
No matter how many times his *** got ****ed.
Yo The last I heard he’s a minister in a Baptist church.
Posing as one of gods servants Trashing the masters work.
How can he be a servant of god when he’s not.
Trying to learn from his mistakes he don’t deserve mercy from god.
And what’s worst is I have a step mother I don’t even know.
And almost glad the I don’t know her cause she’s probably a ***.
With two kids of her own that are probably to grown.
To be left alone in the position for there step father to control.
Like robots If I would have been home this wouldn’t of happened
And As the man of the house I got to blastt him.
Where were you when we were stuck on the street.
Collecting can goods from school to get something to eat.
Freezing our asses off in the winter cause there’s no ****ing heat.
And then every other week I was getting jumped for my sneakers.
So don’t you try to justify nothing to me Cause.
ever since I was five you’ve been corrupting my sleep.
so if you run in to me ya might find your self under the sea.
Nothing to breath praying to Jesus looking up at your seed.


Whispers in the dark.
A hopeless victim of hypnosis lying in bed as the moster approaches.
Ripping us apart.
A threat to his own son mind ****ed daily while the Older sisters barely hold on.
A merry-go-round of taught violent psychotic thoughts wishing I could disembark.
But I can't I'm on a rant and all I could do back then was bury my head in the sand.



Yeah this actualy happend. I wrote this out of grief.

You know the drill...

Copyright 04/29/11

Heres another one about my dad....the prick



In 87 a child was neglected led to believe.
Life was headed in the right direction but too young to perceive.
Life’s travesties actually happening right in front of his presence.
Witnessing his father tossed in the back of the wagon locked up and arrested.
By two men with badges and blue suits strapped with guns on their hip.
He didn’t have a ****ing clue his daddy was going to prison.
For the evil sins he committed but what was this kid to envision.
At first he thought this all was just a trick but every bit was authentic.
It’s the beginning of chapter one an unfortunate bastard son.
Stunned from departure from his father sorrow runs through his blood.
The drama followed his heart turned hollow but what will come tomorrow.
Life got harder through events of darkness its influence proved it’s stronger.
He useless from fighting through it loosing from the crudeness moving through Him.
ruining prudence and accruing inner bruising.
damn life is brutal this innocent kid is trying not to lose it.
**** He just blew it now the only thing true to him.
That he's been...

Forsaken.... innocence has been taken.
stripped from affection from his own relations.
he's been Neglected in life and contrived a child.
He’s dying he need salvation,,,he needs salvation.


He needs friends and family constantly sticking by him.
Like shadows behind following cause inside he's dieing.
he’s fighting but hardly surviving His emotions are dividing.
like Dr. Jeckle and Hyde’s hiding inside him.
like duality two sides of personalities.
split by this reality Mixed with a life of tragedies.
why is this happening? Why does he collide from gravity.
its like knives are stabbing him Causing all this pain and agony.
creating internal anger lingering Pointing fingers.
steering him to mingle with evil spirits and demons.
serpents lurking till it changed him into another person.
Pouring rain’s making him suffer in pain digging up dirt.
As he tunnels with this shovel formulating graves.
In this downward funnel full of fury and hate until his life crumbled.
Like he was played in vein of a ****ing video game.
Like God is holding the controller of a mortal just controlling his fate.
Either way he's been....

Forsaken.... innocence has been taken.
stripped from affection from his own relations.
he's been Neglected in life and contrived a child.
He’s dying he need salvation,,,he needs salvation...











Deadbeat daddies leave their seeds on permanent vacations.
It happened to me no visitation initiated...
No see ya later declined mailed letters delivered to my attention.
Just a kid neglected left with no Father to take care of him.
And care for him and carry him through this life of impairment.
Not knowing the steps of becoming a man **** this was embarrassing.
But the hell with Him I did it all by myself with no help from him.
Do you hear me I’m talking to you waste of an element.
You sorry excuse for a Father don’t bother trying to unite with us.
You want to unite with something unite with deez nuts.
I got the keys chump fling ya in a trunk your heads gonna bleed from.
Giving you lumps when your head goes thump doing 80 over speed bumps.
Yo I’ll feed ya to the fish cause prick I don’t need ya.
thick ropes and bricks around both Ankles and hips **** I’m gonna sink ya.
to the bottomless pit cause your weights been On my shoulders.
heavy like boulder back then I cringed but now that I’m older.
It’s a synch life is golden with family and friends.
but you’ll never ****ing know them it’s over finished diminished.
so pay attention this is your lesson in negligence child molesting son of a *****.
Now that that’s been said **** it I’m turning my direction from this.
cause I was...

Forsaken.... innocence has been taken.
stripped from affection from his own relations.
he's been Neglected in life and contrived a child.
He’s dying he need salvation,,,he needs salvation..


Gravity pulls him to the ground from holding grudges.
Like Michael Douglas in “Falling Down” but renown to Plummet.
Amounting to nothing as a hellion a notorious felon.
From grand theft and carelessness was his only form of rebellion.
flaring up with rage Like blazing flames had to make a change.
to rearranged His routine by means of both feet restrained.
With shackles and chains No more rage or spray paint and gangs.
There are better things to accept in life than violence and hate.
Except for one thing that he hates with an exception.
Every time he stares in the mirror he sees his daddy’s ****ing reflection.
Cursed with his genes off aggression he wish he could dissect them.
With a method of extraction like the Nutty Professor.
Cause his daddy’s festering his blood and DNA irritating sections.
Within his veins ever since that day he was arrested .
should have been lethally injected But beware of this message.
karma strikes 10 times harder ***** when it’s least expected.
From when I was...

Forsaken.... innocence has been taken.
stripped from affection from his own relations.
he's been Neglected in life and contrived a child.
He’s dying he need salvation,,,he needs salvation...



Yeah this actualy happend. I wrote this out of grief too as you can see.

You know the drill...

Copyright 04/29/11

I was sexually abused by a cousin at a young age, thus provoking my condition. It takes a lot of strength to come out with something like that, it really does. With respect and love for what you have gone through and finding a way to get it out of you. Thank you.

-Joshua-

I'm so sorry to here that. No one should go through this type of trama. I know I did. But we can olny make our selves better by excepting it and moving on. that was the main reason I wrote this. Plus if I ever make it. I will ruin That Basters Life.
thanks for undersatanding.