Already Gone (a World Gone Mad)

I may try to rewrite this with a different word-rhythm because it sounds too typical as it is. But it's also meant to be a little retro, hence the reference to (Bob) Dylan. Style will be either hard rock or hard-style techno, maybe dubstep lol, not quite sure yet ...

Already Gone

How can you see me
When you still can't see yourself
In the chaos of a world gone mad
Once there was a time
It was written in your mind
But you didn't understand what you had

How can I survive
When I shouldn't be alive
Coz the train of time has passed me by
The clock has lost its wind
In the chaos-beaten mind
Of a out-of-time soldier such as I

-Chorus-
Time-change is coming
But I'm already gone
Everybody's running
But it won't be long
Before the clock-tower falls
... and kills them all
... (kills them all)
But I'm already gone

The pain marches on
Lost without a home
And you don't even care anymore
You'll just take your cue
Ask a pimple-head what's new
While the only truth there is walks out the door

-Chorus-
Time-change is coming
But I'm already gone
Everybody's running
But it won't be long
Till the clock-tower falls
... and kills them all
... (kills them all)
But I'm already gone

News is full of color
Brother killing brother
Full report on CNN at five
Dylan wouldn't believe
What 4 decades have conceived
And the bubble-headed bleach-blond's still alive

-Chorus-
My change has come
And I'm already gone
Everybody's running
But it won't be long
Till the clock-tower falls
... and kills them all
... (kills them all)
But I'm already gone

I'm already gone

~ ~ ~

(edited a few little things)

Does anyone think it needs another verse?

Ooh, I like it... I don't think it needs rewriting, though, but that's just me I like "Till the clock-tower falls... and kills them all"
I don't think it needs another verse - I think when it's done to a tune, the one middle verse will work

Nice ideas, awesome flow bro you frikin nailed it like always

Katie is right, perhaps a middle verse. But it's epic as it is. The chorus is great, I understand it well. Lol I love trying to understand lyrics it's frikin fun. N I just love the lyrics "how can I survive. When I shouldn't be alive?"

Moon yur amazing

Moon, that was quite a Ride!

It's a trully great song!
I'm opting for classic, melodic rock. I even have a melody for the chorus in my mind!
And there's nothing retro in it, really.

The third verse:

News is full of color
Brother killing brother
Full report on CNN at five
Dylan wouldn't believe
What 4 decades have conceived
And the bubble-headed bleach-blond's still alive

- so spot on, mate!

Love it!
No further verses needed imo.

Ah you two are just being sweet, as always Thanks!!
I think I do wanna add another verse ... maybe read some old Dylan lyrics and see if I can get a tickle of an inspiration ...

By U2 you mean:

Katie and Shadow?
Katie and me?
Shadow and me?

Just in case: I'm never sweet with no reason. And I praise only if I truly like something. It's just very good!

Heeey Paul you were posting while I was drafting lol
Yeah you're right, retro was just a frame of mind I was in ... but actually the last line in that third verse is from an 80's song (still trying to remember the name!) and I was writing toward that one line in the last verse
But the first 3 lines were the first thing I had for it...
Well anyway, thanks muchies

I hope I just answered your question

Honey YOU KNOW I don't lie to you

LOL ;D

Got it! Dirty Laundry by Don Henley:

We got the bubble-headed-bleach-blonde
who comes on at five
She can tell you 'bout the plane crash
with a gleam in her eye
It's interesting when people die
Give us dirty laundry

lol

Originally Posted by ShadowLeeSharp

Honey YOU KNOW I don't lie to you

LOL ;D

Yeppers I know that very well Shadow!

It is absolutely perfect the way it is! You could write a second half to this, if you liked. I think it is amazingly well written and fantastic song~ What ever feeling you sought to catch, you caught it and my attention with it as well! Beautiful work, Moon~

NO, please don't EVER touch these lyrics. They are great as they are.

"...but i'm already gone"

Nanashi and Angel, sorry it took me a whole week to say thanks, and well ok then, I'll try my best not to touch it!