Opinion on Lyrics. I'm always curious.

Thats just a rough beginning. Still fiddlin with it. It has a sort of early Eminem flow so think of that when you read it

a born sneaker fanatic
better yet an addict
its tragic
blowin every pay check just to feed my habit
I dont know how im affordin
all these pairs of air jordans
cause accordin to salary
I shouldn't have this big of a shoe gallery
countin my kicks like chicks count calories
the only way i can explain my insane behavior
is to admit that I've accepted Michael as my lord n' savior
when you attend the church of jordan
you better be sportin
nice kicks like the retro six-s
cause this is
my religion
and otherwise you sinnin
so grab your six rings, Olympic edition
or maybe the all black twenties, a difficult decision
either way your dressin with precision
a sharper image
using something vintage
like the retro threes
with an all white tee
now your looking better than alright
matter of fact your shoes are quite the sight
and loosen those jeans up, they're a little tight

Copyright 6/9/11 Tre_Fly

Honest opinions from people that have a heavy interest in Hip/hop please. Or if you just wanna leave your thoughts regardless of that, feel free to.

U flow like flowing is all u ever do and you make a great lyric out of a stupid subject like shoes.
Props

I agree with molovota, If you put that tallet into somthing with a deeper subject other than Shoes it would be great. I like the flow man...
On the side if you wanted to make that song slap stick funny, I would rap that over that stupid you tube video" Shoes"
I like the style.. god job..

Yo, thanks. I have alot of other stuff I have written, but this is what I had just wrote when I found this website. I think ima do that shoes thing though. **** had me rollin when you said that. Let em hit you with a freestyle I had when I was just sittin at home the other day.

What I give is a gift expensive, I've been shopping at Macy's
You kids clownin, you can call me Wayne Gacy
My motto's been **** life so I nicknames it Lacy
Duvalle
who moves all
my thoughts
to prominence and dominance in this rap game
as I change lanes
I maintain
the same frame
of mind
got you in a bind
constriction of your airway
as i send you on the stairway
to heaven
they said feed em so it sent them to the seven eleven

Copyright 6/10/11 Tre_fly

thoughts on that?