Chaotic Insecure Delusion (I sometimes call it "Ramblings of the Living Dead")

Before I post my song I would like to take the opportunity to say I fully realize the extensive work still yet required in order to perfect the song and in turn I may end up "scrapping" it completely. Also, just a side note, there are two versions of this song. One is an acoustic song with female vocals (sung by me), and the other is an alternative metal-ish song, also with my vocals. Writing lyrics is not in fact my strong suit; rather I find poetry and short stories easier to write. But then, who does not want a challenge? But as I said, I cannot write very good lyrics so do not expect too much. So, please read my song and I'd love it if you all would be brutal. Thank you.

My successes are none
No purpose, no fun
My life is a black hole
And the world around me drains me of my soul
This thing consuming me whole
The sorrow, the shame
Do not feel any blame
When I choose to pick up the blade
Precise slices are made.

My life has no point
I'm obnoxious and dull
I am completely worthless
Living an undeserving, unforgiving, never ending, "life".

(Chorus)
Just take your mind off it
It's the only way
Become a mindless zombie
Just to get through the day
Stuff your face with food
Tune out their optimistic lies
So you'll forget to realize
Later you'll hate yourself,
And want to die (x3)

I reveal to you my scars
Explain bruises and mars
You don't think twice
Lack of attention must be my vice
Yet my plan is made, and my attachments are gone
I'm ready to go when I've finished singin' this song.

I do not deserve life
My existence can cause only strife
I'll be glad when I'm dead
And they all forget about you the day after your death.

Just take your mind off it
It's the only way
Become a thoughtless zombie
Just to get through the day
Stuff your face with food
Tune out their optimistic lies
So you'll forget to realize
Later you'll hate yourself,
And want to die (x3)

Pointless Existence
Taking up Space
Has my entire life been such a waste?
I suppose there really is no reason to wait.

In a feverish fit
I'm insanity's pet
I sharply run
Down the Street
Left there only to bleed

Just take your mind off it
It's the only way
Become a thoughtless zombie
Just to get through the day
Stuff your face with food
Tune out their optimistic lies
So you'll forget to realize
Later you'll hate yourself,
And want to die (x3)

"Happy" at last
Forgotten the past
No longer Exist
I wonder, did you catch my drift?


P.S: I know the song's meaning is blatantly obvious. It is intended to be. The last line is, in its own respects, a very rude "joke" which refers to the fact that most people undergoing the feelings (etc.) described in this song, regardless of how obvious they can sometimes be even though they try and hide it, are never detected for having these feelings by others until it is much, much too late. Further proving in their own mind that they were completely ignored though they may have had all the attention in the world bestowed upon them, the reality of their situation and the reality of them was wholly ignored.

I really like those lyrics. You express quite well what can feel a person filled with dark ideas and who's got no hope in life. My father commited suicide 5 years ago and although it isn't the same context (he had been badly injured, his life was wasted and there was no hope of getting better), I remember him in some ways when reading your song. He felt he was a burden for all of us and saw no good reason of enduring that any longer. We knew he wanted to die, but we always though (hoped) he would not do that so he could see his family grow up (selfish from our part...)

My favorite passage is the following, mainly because it relates a lot to my father.

"Pointless Existence
Taking up Space
Has my entire life been such a waste?
I suppose there really is no reason to wait."

The only word that doesn't fit his situation is the word "entire". But lyrics can't be as much general to fit perfectly to every story ;-)

I began writing a song about suicide few months ago. I'm doing it very slowly, as I want it to express perfectly how I feel about it. Not sure if I will post the lyrics here though...

Keep up the good work! Would love to hear the acoustic version ;-)

I agree with Niklai

Nice... very dark though...You must have been going through a dark phase when you wrote this...it shows.
I like how you brightned it up at the end... good job. the grass is greener on the other side...