Contemplations Vo. 4

You know, I've been thinking about life
And where it leads, what our destination is
And even about the generic "live life in the moment"
And I have come to this conclusion:
"F*CK IT!"
Now, I'm not angry, or really even irritated
But rather awakened to this world
Awakened to see it's dark
The pain and suffering of good people
The gains of those who do not deserve them
I've been on this earth only just under 19 years
And have experienced death, disease, suicide, depression
Hatred, pain, and above all else
The emotion I believe I now feel is exhaustion
Now I am not suicidal, rather my insight is the furthest from
Now that I am on my own and free to my own will
I may be the happiest I have been in years
I'm just tired of all the bullsh*t that I have to witness
Grudges, empty threats, underhandedness,
These I must face even though I have left those choosing to do so
Now I do experience joy and I love the feeling
But I appreciate the fact that without pain and sadness
There would be no way to truly understand happiness or love
Speaking of, the concept of love confounds me
Media marketing wants us to believe
That by simply wanting something enough
Will allow us to obtain that which we desire
Well, my friends I call bullsh*t for desire is not enough
If it were so, the "love" of my life would be mine and I hers
However, this does not mean I am giving up
Rather I am focusing my attention to other aspects of my life
Taking care of myself so that one day I may take care of her
For I do believe in fate, "Que sera sera" "Whatever will be, will be"
And whatever will be...well I guess I'll have to wait and see

Hmm...maybe I should call these rants instead of contemplations. lol

Hi Inkeepruler, I think I started reading your series of contemplations backwards, I just read this the number 4, hope is not problem to change the order, in my opinion the title contemplations is not so attractive, and rant is a little rude, and I see that your thoughts are more like meditations, cause at the end we find always that happiness is in ourselves, in the people that is around us, that we must be in peace with all the world, and that all the things must pass (as George Harrison said).

Hmm... two years have passed. I believe it's time for another volume.

Hi Inskeepruler, welcome back, I like the way you explore your mind and express your hiding thougths, we know that people who are cheated by the world and its things can´t be happy because they are living in this slavery, but if we pass through this life as a white bird that get no spots in the wings, then we can get real life. So I think that you are finding the thruth and hope that all of us realize that media is not wanting us to be happy, but to be consumers and hold us into stereotypes. I hope I can see you growing ins soul and mind, and getting hapiness in your next volumes in ATL. Thank you