•Death of Jive• Watch out Zarex.

Just a warm up for my battle against Zarex.

Uh, I got grilled cheese in the microwave
while I'm crunchin up e's with mah nxgga Tay
I'm blastin the best of Cool J
cause I'm a real ace
cause I got my green pay floodin my sweet place
and Tay's got the dumb gaze on his face
tellin me how he gave dxck to some white girl named Grace
I raise my brows and have a taste of the very berries I grew myself
take in the blue haze
before I could even exhale I fell to the ground tazed and paralyzed
Tay dropped too, all I heard was "who's you now?!"
that's when I realised it was that nxgga Jive with his crew of five who came from behind
he said "you hear that chime? It's your precious dime, that's right nxgga she's mine now"
he said "boys it's time for the blaow blaow"
BAM! I tried to reach for my piece that's when I saw Tay bleedin
and I regained my feelin that's when the brains started hitting the ceilin,
I yelled "time to get your peelin mothafxckas,
two left to go til I come for the lover"
I flipped the sofa over and crushed a nxgga then I came at the other nxgga like a cobra
bust his head to the wall til his skull was dust
I checked on Tay he's sayin "I'm okay go cap Jive before he gets away
I just saw him sway with Renee through the door a few secs ago
he had her tied up in some ropes
I think he's tryna sex your hxe"
I said, "I know, I gotta pop this dope, here's my phone, call an ambulance bro"
I ran out my house and saw Jive loading Renee in his coupe with plans to elope
I broke the front window and pulled him out, cussed him out
beat his fxckin spleen out
Renee screamed as his cold blood streamed
on his seat, on the street
all on my fxckin jeans
that's when I remembered.. the grilled cheese..
shxt..

and that's how punks end up
when they fcck with the Pimp Mac Daddy
Marvelous G..

Interesting story, creative in a twisted kind of way. vocab was not the best I've seen of you.
flow was ight...needs something though.... if your rhymes rhymed per syllable count at the end of your lines, I think it would stand out better.
well thats my My P.O. anyways.

Yeah, I wrote it on the spot and there was a lot of lines I had but I lost cause I was tryna get the whole thing done. Usually when I write story raps they're much deeper but this was a test on myself. But when I was typing it I felt the flow completely. I definitely did slack on my real lyrical abilities. Thanks for the feedback I'll work on this.