new verse! feedback welcomed

I sh*t lyrics, you smell that ungodly stench on the verse, if you needed real rhymes I'm right here quenching your thirst, and not for the first time, when I go my spirit will put dents in a hearse, revving up a lyrical chainsaw aimed at your brain raw while having sex in a church, I don't carry an uzi because my text will just burst, laying down a hex and a curse, these rappers talk about a Lexus and purse, I am the nexus of Earth, blessed to rehearse murderous words that surgically jerks the nerves of birds and redirects them into a different curve

Definetly better than me, in my oppinion it's good, but I think you should keep in your mind "There's always someone who could be better" and just keep working to surpass that someone.

Your lyrical feices are unsettling... try mettling with development
I'm intelligently benevolent....
yet fretful theres no room for betterment.
Your "sawing" into steel, knawing at the heels of smooth himself,
"Nexus of earth" I'm calling you fourth, honor the bout

Nice feed back smooth lol.....

no bad O.S....seperate your bars makes it easy for the public to see your flow, It also will help you write a better verse...


Example...
I sh*t lyrics, you smell that ungodly stench on the verse, -------------------this line was nice but it kindof dissed your self...
if you needed real rhymes I'm right here quenching your thirst,---------------nice one
and not for the first time, when I go my spirit will put dents in a hearse,------could be better
revving up a lyrical chainsaw aimed at your brain raw while having sex in a church,------------this line should have backed up the line above it..my p.o.
I don't carry an uzi because my text will just burst,-----------------------------------------this line has potential
laying down a hex and a curse,these rappers talk about a Lexus and purse, -----------------this line should refrence off the beginging of the line.
I am the nexus of Earth, blessed to rehearse murderous words that surgically jerks
the nerves of birds and redirects them into a different curve

Haha idk battling is the quickest way to get better in my oppinion, I'm fresh out of advice for this one yet you put it out there pretty well.

lol I feel ya bro...