Let It Go!

Here's one of the first songs I wrote. I have developed as a songwriter since this one, so feel free to leave your opinions of it, no matter how critical they maybe.

The voice inside
My head is Fear
Telling me that I
Shouldn't be here
Cuz all the life from
From me you're taking
Is killing me from
Suffocating!

Pre-Chorus:
I know things
You never will.
There's one thing you'll see,
That one thing is still.....

Chorus:
All the things you
Think you had
Disintegrate
And now you're mad.
Please just
Don't tell me NO!
Just hold in the pain
And let it go!

Swimming through
Your empty head
Is the wish that
You'd be dead.
So, tell me.
Whatcha gonna do?
The god from Hell
Is looking for you!

Pre-Chorus

Chorus

Verse 1

Pre-Chorus

Chorus X2

I think the rhyming scheme is a little clunky and forced, and at a couple of parts i wasn't sure if what you wrote was what you meant. But i liked its overall feel and alot of your word choices. it seems liek it could be badass if it were really intense.