hey need help new too rapp need feed back on what i got soo far :)

hey need help.. this is my first part of my rap tell me how it sounds................
You don't understand what i'm going threw.
Your about to brew a monster inside of me,
And hopefully the world dont have to see What i'm about to be.

Check out some of the stuff by some other guys here, because honestly it needs a lot of work.

P.S. In this context, it would be "through" not "threw"

needa lot of help!


You don't understand what i'm going threw.
Your about to brew, a monster inside of me.
And hopefully the world dont have to see what im about to be.

Theirs a girl deep off in my mind.
she said that we cant be what you want us to be

Lyrically i'm spitting these rhymes hopeing this girl knows
whats going on in my mind.
Time is so precious i've only got so long sending this message.

Yea do your homework kid. There's a lot of talented emcees on here, check out their stuff.

Smoothtung and Mixalopoulos are right. Observe how us Emcees use grammar in such scripts when necessary, and the type of styles we use in battles and non-battles.Like I learned, it's not all about rhyming, the script and bars have to make sense as well.

P.S.

Also, you need to have a certain flow with each "rap" or so called "script", to make it sound better. If not then, you'll just straight f*ck it up.
You'll learn pretty quickly though. If not quick, then you'll learn slowly, but better.
Your new to this, so your gonna do fine, but when you feel ready you can jump in any threads you would like to join.