feedback starting verse of this song i want to write?

Thread: feedback starting verse of this song i want to write?

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  1. killanatural said:

    Cool feedback starting verse of this song i want to write?

    Darkness crawls through my cerebelum
    as im tortured with the voices of gold and redrum
    I am possesed by seeds of the devils entity
    screaming into me " I want you to sin for me!!!!!!"
    my crufixes are broken and blood fills my eyes
    for money and power are the only things that will satisfy
    no exceptions this is reality no li(y)e
    god is not hear to untagle me this time
    walking through the corridors of my apartment
    I get my nine and head out to a local clothing department
    ready to hit cashier to give the cash here
    fear concels her eyes as i look into her mind
    fears of going to hell yet dwells in the devils cell
    goes to church every sundaynight yet hasnt seen the light
    no willpower, no strive for god
    just hides behind it so shell get the holy rod
    Nonesense! to this my response is...
    NO mercy burn in hell for all eternity!
    as she expires from this realm the devil gains another soul to feed
    as i grab the cash and continue on these sinful deeds

    Verse 2:

    What happen to me was tragic
    was on gods road than did a 180 in to the devils traffic
    will now i am a savage that i feared
    everyone that i hold dear is a distant memory in my ear
    no emotion my eruption is like the ocean exploding
    i hear another voice who is the next victim that was chosen?
    a young lady laid frozen as she gazed at me with confusion
    i cocked back not knowing that god to her was no illusion
    her spirituality doged her a fataility
    satan had no need for her shield of apathy
    she acted accordingly and sprint out of the door
    devil cried out he needed more spirits to go
    he grows weak, and god remains strong
    and I hunger for blood now we all get along
    not only that but i lust for women and excitment
    dont tell me god will fufull this cynical enlightment
    as i grow 2 feet larger i start to grow horns
    wings that expand, skin red,long nails,tail, my cloths are all torn
    my scorn for god has increased 10 fold
    as i see on my head the numbers 666 written in bold
    behold the reincarnation of the devil is near us
    i rise like a phoenix and with a loud thrust
    turn everyone with a doubt of god to microdust

    still got 1 more verse or i may expand on this one plz leave a comment or something.
    Last edited by killanatural; 01-22-2012 at 07:58 PM.
  2. killanatural said: