Feedback on my raise the bar cypher entry?

Here's a link to the video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-ik2...eature=g-all-c

Tell me what you think and like the video of you like it.

got another link? youtube's banned in China.

Nah, I only posted it on youtube. I'll post the lyrics here though.

New to this rap stuff, got it locked in hand cuffs./
Wrote this **** straight off the dome like it's dandruff./
Ever see a nerd spit? You will when this verse hits/
and disperse the words, it's just flowing like cursive./4
Shits hitting with precision kind of like a marksman./
These bars going hard, they're made with high carbon./
Other rappers claiming that they're hungry but i'm starvin'./
Flow so sick, don't spit, cause i'm barfin'./8

Dreaded by the boredom, I started rapping on Xgen Forums./
Just an attempt to present some hip hop for 'em./
Attained the basics of the game, now I got my name scorin'./
you can't even keep up with these words like you became foreign./12
Now I got the tools to make my raps click instantly./
and i'm servin' up these fools fast like Micky Dees./
Realize this ain't a disguise, it's not a different me./
insight to my rap side just gave me an epiphany./16

And i'm still flowin' hard with these golden bars./
make people shut their mouth's as if they're holdin' barfs./
Keepin' **** deadly while i'm kickin' it like Jet Li./
Killin' anybody that wants to go against me./20
Even though i'm new I know i'll still be killin' cyphers./
Always stayin' true and always aimin' higher./
I'm never gonna quit, no way that i'll retire./
Gonna spit this fire until this **** is expired./ 24