feed is cool.. but not askin. this is where im at shaadows place in the shade. kno it

Peep my swag..
Ride my @ss til grace is lavish..
GAME - I'm 'fly'. 'weightless' as.. hate-rich crimes in racist classes; 'Framed' - like glasses..
Blamed by asses..
Make them shamed for tasteless tactics..
I'll run up aimed at faces, drastic grazing-addicts blazing-erratic..
Rage, I have it...
..an straight back-it with great taste like hadock pallets.. (syntactic talent)
~
k.. I'll raise the static dramatic; - 'electric' sh!t - 'active' 'currents',
Stray-into spraying tech-clips to-get-trapped-with the f@g-kids; ..perfect..
That's-it, classic.. I'm askin "let 'shaad' at!" , attack them persons..
I'll return stabs to-the-back - slash cracks til it collapsed-an bursts-in..

Word, since..
~
..If they ain't there.. ill just master captive wording;
lessons-will-mend in-amends til-the-trend-is 'massive spurting'..
I'll have the rap-'cat'-crack-basterds 'purring'..
I'll amass a-mass attack without gats.. but in fact, more loud-and-disturbing..
They'd send me 'to heal'.. but for real how? - ..i'd be worsening..
Violently cursing, while-the-birds-sing.. - ..feeling trapped in.. 'cell'd-an-smothered..
4 years for near peers crashing on 'swells' mellow 'ruttered'..

what happened to "crash-with-passion, laughing" but "NEVER sell-eachother.."
what happened to the raddest action this rapping could tell-these-others..
I've always thought of myself as each one of their brothers..
..unhealthy shuddered now.. im leaving bellies-ruptured like deli mustard; fleshy f*ckers..
I/ 'helli' flutter.. the way that I coast with drifts; I cope with sh*t.. 'ghostly swift'
mostly float in groping shivs..
I hope-the-kids know-this I'm rouge/..sick; ..no d!cks you can't (grasp ^) me..
Says so with the signing of my 'rap.'sheet..
Vile-bold-anger in flesh-attire climbing-in fastly..
..I'll go full blown 'Ranger' ..best fire blinding swings.. 'bat-speed'

dope rhymes man, I'll edit with more feedback later. first impression's good though.

EDIT: yeah man it's dope. I thought the flow was fairly consistent, lost it once or twice but that might just be how I'm reading it. great multis and some cool metas. my favourite was the "no d!cks you can't (grasp ^) me" pointing up to the "ghostly swift", nice. not so keen on the "attack on a cat", thought after the amass/a-mass (sick) start it could've been stronger... plus you used "cat" in the previous line and I'm not a fan of repitition unless it's for a word play or chorus line... just personal taste though, also if you remove the "on-a-cat an..." bit then it flows better too with "I'll amass a-mass attack... have it loud and disturbing" seeing as it follows a short line.

Yea the cat line needs to be looked over, whole thing needs ta be 'smooth'ed out.. aha
Thanks for the good feed bruv

no worries man, like I said... just my opinion. not pretending to be a 'teacher' aha...