how would you say this paragraph in russian? or something similar?

dear boyfriend,
i hate that i can't tell you how jealous i am. you'd just get mad. but why do you have to be best friends with the ex girlfriends you loved so much? i hate feeling like i'm constantly competing with them. you dumped me for one of them already and now how am i supposed stand up and be okay. i'm sorry i'm insecure. it doesn't help that you're spending the day in chicago with your other best friend, another one of your ex girlfriends, the one who happens to be a model. i hope you have fun.

love,
your girlfriend.

(no this is not for my boyfriend in real life. in case anyone was wondering.)