Raven Beauty ( of the night)

Raven Beauty
Of the night
We used to do it
ah,so right.
Now you made it,
plain to see,
You no longer,
care for me.

Fly away,
Fly a-way-a
Fly away
Fly a-way-a

Yes,I lose,
But......so do you
Fly away Raven,
You're Beautiful.


Fly away
Fly a-way-a
Fly away
Fly a-way-a


Written 12/2004

It's a song that repeats the first verse.If it's sung,it works.Thanks for your Comment,all are appreciated.D.D.
After rereading the comments,a lot of the ones comparing it to Poe were deleted.So I did want to say if you're reading the Comments and it seems weird that others talk about "stuff that's not there" that's why!I just noticed all the Replies between June 2nd and July 11th were deleted or simply vanished.I had about 10 more people comment.Why are their comments gone?

I've listened to some songs that are this short and they can work with repetition. But the Raven Beauty imagery is so impressive, that--to me--another glimpse into her would be so nice, if the verse would be done very thoughtfully, with beauty, and your signature conciseness. OK. I admit--here's the newbie offering advice to the pro!

After each,"fly away"there is a violin playing Strum,strum,strum.Then during fly a-way,"a violin plays strum,strum,strum-strum.If you can think of how a violin would replicate the vocal,"Fly away,fly a-way-ay,Fly away,fly a-way-ay.The verse is repeated and although short,does exactly what I wanted it to do.I should have written out the verse again,but this was my second song I posted,so was new at how to post song lyrics.Now being an old pro,I'd post it longhand.Maybe I'll edit it at some future time.This is real classic country style.I don't write any one type of song,just good ones,I hope!

Yes, indeed you do write good ones!

Oh, and I love the description about the violin (in country, we call it fiddle, even if it's as beautiful as classical violin!) repeating the words . . .

I really like the imagrey here. Its dark and it makes for cool song.

Art impresses different people different ways. For me personally, it is not dark; it is longing . . . Not "arguing" . . . merely pointing out the personal impressions art makes upon each one of us.

I say: None are wrong. All are right for the individual listener.

Doug, you are the artist--Do you agree with the above statement?

Shortness often grants songs that feeling of melancholy, like something that you will never know, eternally incomplete...

This is a Reply to Comment #7 by Frankie J. I didn't think this was a "dark song" at all.Like you said perfectly I was "longing"?If a song about a girl leaving you is "dark",then most of my songs are.I think why people said,"Like Poe,or dark"was simply the name of this song,Raven Beauty.This song was describing a young woman with Black hair and very light skin.She has dark green eyes,thus,in my mind,Raven.The Poetry Gods were generous that day,I wrote Raven Beauty(of the night)and Hurt Me So,in the same hour.One right after the other.One song says,"will I see her,I don't know"the other says," fly away,fly a-way".Basically the same thing. While I'm here,let me try to express the violin part better.Fly away...mmmmm-mmmmm-mmmmm Fly a-way-ay
mmmmm-mmmm-mmmmm-mmmmmm Fly away mmmmmm-mmmmmmm-mmmmmmm Fly a-way-ay mmmmmm-mmmmm-mmmmm-mmmmm I hope,if you hum it,it gives you a clearer picture of what I was trying to express.

Thanks for responding to my question, and in a very interesting way--showing understanding of how individuals arrived at different descriptions for differing reason.

About the "Fly away" (mmm-mmm-mmm - 3 strums = like "fly a-way"), Fly away-ay (mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm = 4 strums = "fly a-way-ay).
I could only read 3 beats (3 syllables) into the original post of "Fly a-way". Now it's clear how it would actually be sung with "Fly away-ay" = 4 musical syllables.

Although personally I prefer the "strum-strum-strum" (and consequently "strum-strum-strum-strum") better than the "mmmmmm's.

And yes, I'm trying to be funny. At the same time I am dead serious.

Originally Posted by Zakynthos

Shortness often grants songs that feeling of melancholy, like something that you will never know, eternally incomplete...

I have given you literal "thanks" for this post, Zakynthos, because it is a "gem" of understanding--a concise and profound statement which I will remember for a long, long time. Of course, what you say is true; but never would I have conceived this poetic concept or observation! Truly appreciated.

Trying to explain violin riffs with computer type is difficult,but I see you GOT what I was trying to express.It makes it seem it was all worthwhile.I hope that if you understood what I was trying to express,others will too.Thanks,Frankie.

Although short, I fell in love with this song. I am always hearing it on my mind. By far, the best song in the forum.

May I use it as my signature? I will also include your name right under it.

You know it!I'm glad some folks "got" this song!Now if I only had a band to record it.Use it,sing it,play it;that's why I posted it!It'd be a shame to go to waste!Thank you for the complament.To me,it sings itself.Go for it,I hope she brings you luck!(Private joke)

You know what? It does not let me save it because it exceeds the 200 words limit. May I change it so it can fit?

Do what you have to do.I trust you judgement.

Using the words of one of our best writers' songs is a wonderful idea! It speaks well of Doug's talent and of Zakynthos's perception of quality writing*!




* That is, I did not even mention Z's wonderful poetry and lyrics! But Z, your comment above is priceless too:

Shortness often grants songs that feeling of melancholy, like something that you will never know, eternally incomplete...

Originally Posted by jzon

I really like the imagrey here. Its dark and it makes for cool song.

Hi Friends, about the comment of Jzon, I must say that I don´t know a lot of music, but when I was reading the lyrics at first, before read the comments, it came to my mind "don´t cry" by guns and roses, after I read Jim Colyer comment, if this sounds like Poe, ¡it´s destined to be a classic!
I don´t rally know, but maybe Jzon talks about a dark song, like a heavy rock, as it have a short story, it would be so good to hear the violin solo, and I don´t know if it would admit a guitar solo, like slash in "don´t cry" or george Harrison in "while my guitar gently weeps", this way it sould be a very long musical song.
Gracias a todos y saludos desde México, Doug you are a great artist.

A guitar would work as well.I mention violin,if I could conduct my fantasy orchestra!George Harrison's tone is perfect for this song.Although simple,I'm glad some people are grasping exactly what I had in mind,from just "talking"about it.Simple guitar strums until;fly a-way strum strum strum.Fly a-way-ay strum,strum,strum,strum.I hope somebody with a guitar plays this,it's easy as pie!
It's a love song,not Poe-ish in anyway.I know The Raven is a famous E.A.Poe poem,but....this is about love lost.....Nevermore.
Or;fly a-way whah,whah,whah fly a-way-ay whah,whah,whah-whah.On a whah-whah petal