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Thread: Dragon Hunt

  1. #1
    Senior Member Doug Denslowe's Avatar
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    Cool Dragon Hunt

    ***************
    In days of old
    Or so they say
    To prove you were worthy
    A Dragon you'd slay
    But,other than movies
    Cartoons and such
    Finding a Dragon
    Your chances.........not much

    Now,as ironic
    As this may sound
    Chasing the Dragon
    Can now be found
    Pretty girls,friends
    And parties abound
    Chasing the Dragon
    Was all around

    My first impression
    It was a joke
    Then I caught one
    Did it with coke
    Lit a fire.........
    Sucked real hard
    A one-eyed Jack winked............
    I drew my first card

    Now your happy
    Act like a clown
    Good-looking,rich
    The talk of the town
    But what goes up
    Gotta come down
    Cause when you run out
    It's,"I'll see you around"

    I didn't slay a Dragon
    Just got a good look
    Couldn't resist
    Went back,got hooked
    So,you ask
    "What's your point"
    Don't chase Dragons
    Please,pass the joint

    Then,one day
    You're sick to the bone
    You call up your chums
    They hang-up the phone
    Now no girls
    Friends or money
    You've blown it all
    On dragon-honey
    Take it from me
    You're gonna drown
    Sooner than later
    You're dead in the ground

    5/11/01
    Last edited by Doug Denslowe; 04-15-2014 at 10:13 PM.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Doug Denslowe's Avatar
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    The message that was here no longer applied,so I deleted it.the problem is,I can't think of anything clever to put in it's place.See Comment 11 and pretend it was here.
    Last edited by Doug Denslowe; 01-09-2013 at 11:08 PM. Reason: See Comment 11 remark

  3. #3
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    dude i think right wavelength is right. i love the imagery here especially the card reference in the 3rd verse. i think that this would suit stoner rock really well, real Down stuff methinks. \m/ sex, drugs, rock and roll dude!

  4. #4
    Senior Member Doug Denslowe's Avatar
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    Thanks for taking the time to Comment on my song.I was hoping for more input from people reading these posts,but what can you say?

  5. #5
    Senior Member Johnb31's Avatar
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    I think its good, bad and crazy all in one lol it kind of blew my mind wasn't expecting that, but I like it a lot. We got to slay the dragons in our lives.

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    Doug Denslowe (06-26-2012)

  7. #6
    Senior Member smoothtung's Avatar
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    Real cool piece here Doug I'm glad you told me about this. This ones hard I don't see much of anything at all I can offer to help (as usual with your scriptures) just one word things, I'll give it a shot. Feel free to ignore these as they're not much;

    "In the days of old
    Or so they say
    To prove you were worthy
    A Dragon you'd slay
    But,other than movies
    Cartoons and such
    Finding a Dragon
    Your chances....... *weren't* much."
    (my reasoning is simply that this is the last line of a verse that takes place in the past you know? So the word 'weren't' fits that theme I think)

    "now as ironic,
    As this may sound
    Chasing the Dragon
    Can now be found
    Pretty girls,friends
    And parties *renowned*
    Chasing the Dragon
    Was all around"
    (the way you wrote it sounded great, just adding my touch really. Sort of felt that 'abound' and 'around' we're too similar in vowel sounds)

    Aha that's litteraly all I have. This is a great job. I love the last two stanzas and especially the last six lines. Perfect man.
    - Nicholas

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    Doug Denslowe (08-10-2012)

  9. #7
    Senior Member smoothtung's Avatar
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    I'll check out your other piece soon, I remembered I owed you a read-over so I squeezed this in before work.

  10. #8
    Senior Member Frankie Jasmine's Avatar
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    @Doug, smoothtung: Just gotta say, I understand the grammatical reasons for the change noted by ST. But then again, when did songs/lyrics ever really adhere to grammar--not often. My vote is with "not much." To me it fits with the casual, rather defeatist tone of the poem/lyrics. For me "it fits."

    No offense, smoothtung! I know you're wanting to help Doug in whatever way you can because he's so good at helping us. Just differing opinions!!
    Last edited by Frankie Jasmine; 08-08-2012 at 08:00 AM.

  11. #9
    Senior Member Johnb31's Avatar
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    I really like this Doug, I like how you used the idea of the dragon its quite a formidable foe.

  12. #10
    Rock Mod MoonRide*r*'s Avatar
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    Great stuff Doug. I don't have anything more concrete to offer, coz as I read it I was just cruisin' on that wavelength that Tomatomic mentioned
    There is no glamour in sudden death, and nobody ever wins a war.
    :
    Rockers Unite! =>
    ROCK 'n' Roll Halls of Fame

  13. #11
    Senior Member Doug Denslowe's Avatar
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    For those of you old enough to remember the commercials on both radio and television that went,"I'm Chiquita Banana and I'm here to say"......well,if you know the rhythm of that jingle,That's what I have it mind for the rhythm of this novelty song.(No refrain/chorus)I hear steel drums in the background (a la Carrie Ann by the Hollies)It goes pretty much the same until the line,"Then one day,You're sick to the bone,You call up your chums,They hang-up the phone"that part slows to a crawl.Then.........
    Back to the regular beat.It's suppose to be funny( that's why I put the "Please pass the joint"line in)I hope you all understood where I was coming from.If you didn't,I hope,now you do!P.S.if you want the rhythm of this song;YouTube Chiquita Banana Ads
    Last edited by Doug Denslowe; 08-09-2012 at 05:17 PM. Reason: Chiquita Banana Ads

  14. #12
    Rock Mod MoonRide*r*'s Avatar
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    Yep, I got it, and my first big clue was these lines.... they just set off an image of a certain lightheartedness/non-seriosity in my head...

    Lit a fire.........
    Sucked real hard
    A one-eyed Jack winked............
    I drew my first card

    I also got a visual impression that you may be winking back at the card, or the situation, or something
    There is no glamour in sudden death, and nobody ever wins a war.
    :
    Rockers Unite! =>
    ROCK 'n' Roll Halls of Fame

  15. #13
    Senior Member Doug Denslowe's Avatar
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    Dats it!!!

  16. #14
    Senior Member smoothtung's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Frankie Jasmine View Post
    @Doug, smoothtung: Just gotta say, I understand the grammatical reasons for the changed noted by ST. But then again, when did songs/lyrics ever really adhere to grammar--not often. My vote is with "not much." To me it fits with the casual, rather defeatist tone of the poem/lyrics. For me "it fits."

    No offense, smoothtung! I know you're wanting to help Doug in whatever way you can because he's so good at helping us. Just differing opinions!!
    No Frankie I completely agree, I told him feel free to ignore what I said. It's just Doug asked me to read over a piece and give him some feedback. I personally feel like I'm cheating someone by just responding 'this was real good' but at the same time I couldn't find ANYTHING that needed obvious changing in this script. So I sort of just relayed two small things (that were so small and personal to him that it really didn't matter either way) just so he didn't feel I was leaving him out to dry when he in return has been so helpful to me.

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    Doug Denslowe (08-08-2012)

  18. #15
    Senior Member Frankie Jasmine's Avatar
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    Understood precisely, ST!

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    Johnb31 (08-08-2012)

  20. #16
    Senior Member smoothtung's Avatar
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    The thankyou button has vanished for me somehow. 'thank you'

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    Johnb31 (08-08-2012)

  22. #17
    Senior Member Johnb31's Avatar
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    I know me too I don't know what happened to it.

  23. #18
    Senior Member smoothtung's Avatar
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    Ahah over-usage

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  25. #19
    Senior Member Frankie Jasmine's Avatar
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    Yeh, the "Thanks" rules are a little more specific than the "Like" button; there's a caution to use it for posts that are truly useful. In the past week, I was afraid I was gonna get "overuse"--there were so many things that were helpful and much appreciated on the lyrics/poetry threads!

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    Doug Denslowe (08-08-2012)

  27. #20
    Senior Member smoothtung's Avatar
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    You and all of us Frankie, we take the ATL form of some peace loving hippies on here it's great.

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