Diablo Diane

*******************
There was a she-devil
Named Diablo Diane
Didn't have a conscience
She didn't give a damn

Tomorrow was always
The " End of Days"
Anything to justify
Her evil ways

She burned every bridge
She'd walk across.
She couldn't care less
It wasn't her loss

Only chose people
If something to gain
Leaving them in ruins
And lifelong pain

You'd better walk away
Do it while you can
She'll leave you in misery
Diablo Diane

She burned every bridge
Shed walk across
She couldn't care less
It wasn't her loss.

09/08/2008

What a cold hot chick. Diablo Diane. Glad I'm not the inspiration for this song! Cruel lady!! Doug, this song flows very well, which is one of your signature "brush strokes." Just as one becomes familiar with an artist's paintings by their subject, composition, style, use and application of color, etc., so it is with poetry and lyrics as well.

I have a feeling there are too many Diablo Dianes out there.

Thank you for your kind words.Diane says,"thanks for letting more people get to know me"!What can I say,she loves fame!

I think Diablo Diane finds too much pleasure in her dips in infamy! Her exploits make a great song, but I don't want to meet her!

Yes Doug this has a very good ring to it, especially the title. Diablo Diane rolls off the toungue. I feel like the title alone is producable aha.
Litteraly the only thing I see worthy of changing is one word and that's to help flow but also keep the same message. Ready for it? My big nugget of advise is, maybe take out 'that' in "..that's diablo diane" so it reads;

"Only chose people
If something to gain
Leaving them in ruins
And lifelong pain

You'd better walk away
Do it while you can
She'll leave you in misery.
.. Diablo Diane"

It sounds better to me and I think gives alittle something more to the line, but it's just one line the importance of it isn't hugely crucial by any means. But good work bud, this piece has the "catchy" factor to it like Frankie said. Potential here.

Done!Thanks for the feedback.Originally I thought it had the right "flow" or beat.But,after saying it once without the "That"I deferred to you!Thanks again,and Diane says,"Thanks"!!

Not a problem Doug and Diane haha (perhaps a next title of something?). Glad to be able to help

"Just a little ditty
'bout Doug & Diane,
Two 'Mericans kids growin' up
In the Heart-land. . ."

Whoops, sorry, that one's already been taken!

^ Miss Frankie Cougar Mellencamp ladys and gents

Doug and Diane is too close to Mickey and Mallory(characters in Natural Born Killers)Unless that's what you were hinting at!!!!

Originally Posted by smoothtung

Not a problem Doug and Diane haha (perhaps a next title of something?). Glad to be able to help

Couldn't resist, Doug. I was just playin' off smoothtung's comment! Nothing to do with your "killer" song!

I like this a lot Doug its catchy and I'm sure it would sound amazing put to music.

Originally Posted by smoothtung

Yes Doug this has a very good ring to it, especially the title. Diablo Diane rolls off the toungue. I feel like the title alone is producable aha.
Litteraly the only thing I see worthy of changing is one word and that's to help flow but also keep the same message. Ready for it? My big nugget of advise is, maybe take out 'that' in "..that's diablo diane" so it reads;

"Only chose people
If something to gain
Leaving them in ruins
And lifelong pain

You'd better walk away
Do it while you can
She'll leave you in misery.
.. Diablo Diane"

It sounds better to me and I think gives alittle something more to the line, but it's just one line the importance of it isn't hugely crucial by any means. But good work bud, this piece has the "catchy" factor to it like Frankie said. Potential here.

Here is a prime example of how ATL "works."

Smoothtung: You gave advice to Doug that 2 months ago I would not have recognized as consequential at all. However, because of what I am learning regarding lyrics, I know that even from Doug's point of view, this was a good piece of advice AND it cleans up the song, making it sound more professional. So, yes, small things sometimes do matter in lyrics!

Doug: You are a long-time, successful, interesting songwriter. I love your story-songs. Your part in this (which is something I missed before re-reading the thread tonight) you were given advice, took it seriously, found it to be accurate, and made the change! For someone whose been writing so long, this takes humility. But it shows that your primary importance is not on ego, it's about what's best for the song. Personally, I congratulate you for making this change, with which I also agree! And now I can see (without interference of my emotions about my own writing) what a difference one word can make!

Thanks to you both. You're givers of good advice; and you are good examples of songwriting and song-refining!!

Dougouble "D"
Diane:Yes,Double "D"
Doug:Your back on Top of the List!
Diane:What List?
Doug:The List at ATL,Lyrics Review.Thanks to Frankie Jasmine!
Diane:What List?
Doug:Lyrics Review,dummy!
Diane:I'm not a dummy.I'm just your imagination!
Doug:Yeah,MY imagination!

Doug . . . hmmmmm . . . raw material for a new song????

No,a comic book!

I love the lyrics, and the way the words flowed out into my mind painting a visual picture of her

Originally Posted by Doug Denslowe

There was a she-devil
Named Diablo Diane
Didn't have a conscience
She didn't give a damn

Tomorrow was always
The " End of Days"
Anything to justify
Her evil ways

She burned every bridge
She'd walk across. Chorus
She couldn't care less
It wasn't her loss

Only chose people
If something to gain
Leaving them in ruins
And lifelong pain

You'd better walk away
Do it while you can
She'll leave you in misery
Diablo Diane

She burned every bridge
Shed walk across
She couldn't care less
It wasn't her loss.

09/08/2008 Comments show you care.You do,don't you?

This again is a very interesting idea....I do think your title isn't in the strongest spot...play around with where you want Diablo Diane maybe use the AABA pattern.

Yes,I'll get right on the AABA pattern,right after the "industry pattern"!I'll have to pattern myself after that.

Lol.....now your making fun...ok