sands of.time

I just started this and want opinions on this. Let me know what you think.

We are all born alone,
We all die alone.

Everything I've tried to be
Left me to be what you never expected
Something I said I'll never be.
You don't have to face it
Just walk away, run away
The monster I've become has taken everything
Nothing left but to face myself

What have I've become
What have I've done
What do I do to deserve this.
To deserve this

It's just fine as is.When you write something this good,stand behind it!Only thing I'd suggest is a comma after,"Just walk away,run away."Dats duh only ting I gots to say!(another rhyme)

Thanks man. Is awesome to hear people like it.

Some good lyrics Try to expand it a bit though. What style is this in? Good work

thanks!!

This is going to be a hard rock metal sounding.

Thanks man. I alwaysed used that saying and wanted to make lyrics with it. I am still working on the rest of the lyrics

Matt,I think it's just fine,as is.Don't let anybody tell you how long or short YOUR WORK should be!After all,you wrote it!

Yes you are very right Doug. I will be posting the finished version shortly.

This reminded me of two things, Prince Of Persia (videogame) and Hurt (Nine Inch Nails song). I don't think that we are born alone nor that we die alone. Still, I liked what I read.

Ya I can see that. It's just a saying I use. Iome up with all my lyrics at weird times.

I am still stumped on this song. i have been working none stop and have not had time to finish yet but i am working. any advise??

Not really