this is some lyrics that I wrote. please tell me what you think!

Thread: this is some lyrics that I wrote. please tell me what you think!

Tags: fairytale, lyrics, prince, princess, songs
  1. Ladyalvrt said:

    Default this is some lyrics that I wrote. please tell me what you think!

    please tell me what you think, I need some comment and advice.

    What They Told In Fairytale

    The Prince get down from his white horse
    Flip his hair and wear his beautiful cloak
    Walking to the wood with sword in his pocket
    Trying to kiss and wake the princess

    After the rescue and saving drama
    They went back to the kingdom
    With smile and cheer from the people
    They married cause they are meant to be

    But it’s just a fairytales and bedtime stories
    The prince and his white horse didn’t exist in real life
    I know cause nobody try to wake me from my long sleep
    Nobody rescue me like they told in fairytale

    Everyone said if it’s not happy it’s not the ending
    It’s been forever since I read all those fairytales
    I’ll be 20 soon and my prince never come and save me
    I see so many white horse but not prince charming’s

    it’s just a fairytales and bedtime stories
    The prince and his white horse didn’t exist in real life
    I know cause nobody try to wake me from my long sleep
    Nobody rescue me like they told in fairytale

    And here’s what smart girl would do
    Stand up and defend yourself
    You need no prince charming and his white horse
    Wake yourself and save yourself
    You can do everything with no man on your side

    it’s just a fairytales and bedtime stories
    The prince and his white horse didn’t exist in real life
    I know cause nobody try to wake me from my long sleep
    Nobody rescue me like they told in fairytale
     
  2. mexico62 said:

    Default

    Hi Ladyalvrt, let me tell you the truth, when I started reading I thought it was going to be a boring lyrics (because you start talking about fairy tales), but suddenly the story made a twist and I noticed is not a silly love song (as said Sir Paul McCartney), but this is a remarkable work, I don´t know if you have planned music for this, but for the moment I think is a real poem, it has a solid structure and original point of view. Another truth is that I am not an expert in music and lyrics, but as I noticed in some other songs maybe our friends will ask you to introduce a bridge or something like that, but from an amateur lover of good songs I tell you it seems so good to me, amazing work, congratulations and thanks. !please help us to improve or comment something friends and experts of ATL¡