"When Times Are Bad"

The beginning of two songs came into my mind when I could not sleep.
I decided first to work on: "Why are things good, When times are bad?"
An experiment in writing the lyrics was to keep with a four-syllable count per line.
This was accomplished, I think, except for one small deviation.

"When Times Are Bad" seems a good title, because it applies in both cases mentioned in the song. Think about it. Let me know if you agree/disagree. Constructive criticism requested!


EDIT: At this point, I hear "When Times Are Bad" as a song done in the style of the duo 'The Civil Wars.' I will give some examples below in the thread.



“When Times Are Bad”

[Intro]
Why are things good
When times are bad?
You draw so close;
My heart is glad.

Why are things good
When times are bad?
You draw so close;
My heart is glad.

[Strumming]

Tornado tore
Our house away.
Clutched in your arms,
Felt safe that day.

Passing of years
Goes like the wind.
Things are just things,
Come back again.

[Refrain #1]
Where do you go
When all shines bright?
How can I sleep
Alone at night?
Where do you go
When all shines bright?
How can I sleep
Alone at night?

When we were poor,
We had such fears.
Holding our hands,
Sharing our tears.

Working is hard,
Brings in the yield.
Now bills are paid.
We’re far afield.

[Refrain #2]
Why do you go
When all shines bright?
How can I sleep
Alone at night?
How can I live
When you’re not there?
Stroll through the fields,
Breathe the fresh air?

[Instrumental]

Spector of death
Knocked at our door.
We stood as One,
Death called no more.

Molly’s alive !
She’s full of joy.
God blessed us with
A beautiful boy.

Happiness comes;
You take your leave.
You’re far away.
I’m left to grieve.

[Refrain #3]
How can you go
When all shines bright?
How can I sleep
Alone at night?
How can you go
When all shines bright?
How can I sleep
Alone at night?

[Hook]
Why walk away
When trouble’s past?
I need you here,
First and the last.
I need your touch
When music plays.
I need your love
When all’s okay,
Beg your kisses
Through all the days.

I want to dance
With you at dusk.
Let's pass the flask,
Drink one to us.

Where do you go
When all shines bright?
Draw near to me;
Let’s share the night.

Draw near to me;
Let ‘morrows come;
Do not take flight,
Please not tonight.

Lie in my arms.
Stay ev'ry night.
Stay ev'ry night.
Stay ev'ry night.
. . .


Frankie Jasmine
08-28-12

Love it Frankie. I might wanna say...

Let's pass the flask,
Drink one to us

... but that's just me. All in all, this is a fine piece of work!

Originally Posted by MoonRide*r*

Love it Frankie. I might wanna say...

Let's pass the flask,
Drink one to us

... but that's just me. All in all, this is a fine piece of work!

Perfect phrase, Moon! Thank you. Will make it better right away. (I really like that.)
___________________

I'm making the ORIGINAL 1st, 2nd refrain changes from this:

Why are things good
When times are bad?
You draw so near;
I am so glad.

To this (NEW):

Why are things good
When times are bad?
You draw near me;
My heart is glad.

Comments on the original or the new??

It works for me

Moon: I'm sorry . . . I was so excited about your recommendation that I completely overlooked your very nice comment: "Fine" piece of work? Wow. Thank you very much!

Hi F.J., I tried to count the lines (4 sillables in each one), and I only noticed 5 syllables in the line where you say "A beautiful boy". I don´t know if it´s so important to you to keep this word (beautiful), cause to make it sound like the others (4 syllables) you could change it to "handsome" "blessed", "gifted", "lovely". But don´t mind, this is not so important, it´s just a comment, the real thing is that, as MoonRide*r* says, you give us a great work, it has a good rhythm and a huge potential to become an ever lasting song.

Wow,I'm glad I waited to Comment on this song...........it gets better everyday!I know you've improved it,little at a time.Now it's very good,without a thing to change.Now,it's something to be proud of!And since I saw a sneak-peek,your next one's a doozy!!!
Frankie,you can't get anything by our friend mexico62,just think if English was his First Language!!!

@Doug & mexico62: Yes, our amigo Mexico62 is a professional with the English language, that's for sure! If his first language were English, we might have another Shakespeare on our hands!!! He already surpasses most Americans with his application of English! Mexico, sometimes you come up with accurate useage of such large and unusual English words!

Thank you both for your comments. Doug, you make me feel proud of a song I nearly ditched. Thanks for everything.

. . .

Examples of songs by The Civil Wars . . . which is the song style I am imagining for "When Times Are Bad."


[H-RtrpwIME0]http://www.youtube.com/watch?list=PL2BBA6AE6E9DBE42D&v=H-RtrpwIME0&feature=player_detailpage#t=2s[/video]

. . .

"20 Years" is a good example because it also has a primarily 4-syllable lined theme.


[wA1ezjJNarQ]http://www.youtube.com/watch?list=PL2BBA6AE6E9DBE42D&v=wA1ezjJNarQ&featur e=player_detailpage#t=2s[/video]

. . .

This song is a good example, with its haunting, Mountain style with more dynamics and emotion . . .


[ezK5azSmXeU]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=ezK5azSmXeU&list =PL2BBA6AE6E9DBE42D#t=1s[/video]

Amazing songs Frankie!

Hi F. J., nice and so romantic songs is a shame that youtube erased the last, but I will look for another video of "Kingdom come", Thank you for this good music.

P.S. I found it on this link, thanks again, and hopefully we will hear your song soon with this fantastic style. thanks again http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ezK5azSmXeU