Mourning Dove

A mourning dove shimmering with beauty
Glistens in the morning's crisp ambiguity
The painful uncertainty that lies ahead
Causes the goddess to keep her head

Upon the remnants of love
She knows she must save the dying drug
Holding tight to the missing piece
Of the puzzle that will bring forth peace

Our world is losing its goddess of love
Love is flying away in the beak of a dove
Sailing through the air like Mercury
Leaving behind a veil of impurity

Nothing can be said nothing can be done
For our love has slipped away like a wayward son
Aphrodite stood for peace and love
Will we ever find that mourning dove?

Flowing throughout the crevice of life
Trying hard to escape a world in its twilight
A place so blind that it can't even see
The very thing that makes it bleed

As she glides over death's walls
She watches as darkness crawls
Imprinting the image of a broken society
On the burnt walls of a haunted reality

And as she watches the world unravel
She begins to set forth further in travel
Venturing through the sea of skies
Hoping she can escape the endless lies

Aphrodite once rose from the foam of the sea
Born from the pain of severed seed
From pain love was born
Giving birth to a world forever torn

Although her lust and beauty was clear to see
Was she all that she seemed to be?
Or like the world which we now inhabit
Was darkness her inner habit?

Today our eyes see what they can hardly believe
Hand crafted metal coming forth from the sea
Beauty on the outside death waiting within
Is this the world we choose to live in?

Will darkness crawl upon our infected souls?
And set fire to the boundless coals
Or could an answer lie beyond our haunted reflection?
Shimmering in the eyes of a faceless complexion?

Will we ever find that mourning dove?
Will we ever find that fleeing love?
Or will we hide behind our blinded eyes
Forever infested with our tantalizing lies

Wrote this/ still writing for a mythology project dealing with Aphrodite tell me what u think and if u have any suggestions I want this to be the best the teacher has ever heard.

Your amazing baby. This is beautiful, and I think your teacher will be stunned xD
I'm stunned xx

i think it's great! lots of imagery and it reads really good so i feel sure that it would capture some positive attention from a teacher at the start which i think is very important...first impression always sticks and i believe that you have that going for you. good luck, hope it turns out great!

good stuff dude. imagery is top notch and i love the rhyme scheme, simple, no deviation from it and completely expressive. teacher should be impressed.

"Aphrodite once rose from the foam of the sea
Born from the pain of violence seed"

Simple, accurate and very very smart!

Thanks for the feedback guys!!

Wow,you got Tomatomic to give you some feedback!I don't know how I overlooked this treasure.(After reading it the first time,I probably though I'd already rained too many compliments on you THAT day,so I'd better cool it)Anyhow,this I love,very nice John.

Originally Posted by Thatsmeonthetrain

Your amazing baby. This is beautiful, and I think your teacher will be stunned xD
I'm stunned xx

Hi, Thatsmeonthetrain! I second you on that. Though the poem is full of bitterness, it is as honest as is possible and Afrodite comes actually out "clean", it is her surroundings that doesnot.

I'd say: this just is ready!, johnb31

I did a lot of eiditing and adding with some help from a former English teacher. I'm interning this into a contest where I can hopefully do good and just get my poem and its message out to people. Wish me luck and I hope you like the changes.

Hope all went well in the contest, john. How about it? Has the mourning dove managed to turn back bringing a green olive branch?

See Comment #8!I couldn't have said it better!John,how about letting me know about the Contest.
You could PM the details,if you chose to!

The contest is next Wednesday I will keep you posted on the outcome.

Good Luck!

Well I didn't win, but the contest was more aimed towards presentation of the poem rather than actual material. I don't feel bad about not winning at all. I think my poem sort of went over everyone's head because I got a lot of blank stares, which is ironic because the poem is talking about a society to blind to even see the very things that cause its troubles. So the point of the poem was proven and that makes me both happy and sad that a poem conveying such tragedy of our society could turn out to be true. Our society is so blinded that it cant even see the very thing that makes it bleed. Thanks guys for the support and all those who take the time to read this poem that means so much to me. Also if anyone needs an explanation of the poem just read it a few more times break out the metaphoric shovel and dig until every aspect of it pours into your mind.

What did win?A simple,easy to understand,no reading between the lines type thing?Maybe you went too deep for them.I know your good,so that should be a prize in itself!John,I'd love to know your impression of the other poems that were presented,the ones that won and,in your opinion,should have won.

Yeah the easy to read and understand won while the poems with depth and deep construction were pushed to the side. There were some that cried out for help built of the deepest emotions and they were just ignored. The poems I thought should have won did not and that makes me sad.

Well,now you know how the game is played.Next time you'll win,no?

I would rather be unique then win I'm not gonna change who I am just to win some contest lol.

No I don't mean to change anything,just submit something more accessible to the masses.You've written them,I've read them.