
Originally Posted by
Johnb31
I love this man its something I would write, without a dOubt I think we share a similar thought process on things. It's really interesting to read your work because it's the closet thing to my style I've ever seen who inspires you to write like this maybe we share the same inspiration. Fantastic song but one thing I would really love is if at the end of the chorus you said "do you think of me". Doing this would create sort of a shock to the person since they are not really expecting it so basically what it does is admit to whom ever you are talking to that "I am one of those people". I once wrote a song or part of a song called the shadow kids it was a very similar idea to this the "shadow kids" are the ones that never really make it in life they live in the shadows of greater lives. I really love the ending as well it has a lot of power because it makes the reader relate to the song so it's kind of like a confession within them so it's like "hey I feel that same way about my life". Great message in this fantastic job keep on writing.