Results 1 to 12 of 12

Thread: Lost

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 26 Times in 26 Posts

    Default Lost

    This is very close to my heart its about my best friend who died in july and how i made my world cold to the people who tried to help and i seemed to have given up.

    laying in my room again
    Listening to the world go by
    Suffering in pain again*
    Can't believe you had to die

    Don't no what to do*
    Don't no what to say
    Remembering the times of me and you*
    How we'd sit and laugh all day

    I'm feeling all alone
    made my world out of frost*
    Coated my heart with stone
    Because without you I am lost*

    My tall gentle giant
    My protector, my light, my friend
    We was an alliance
    But that has seemed to end *

    Your warmth and heart
    Shadowed only by your size
    My life you helped kick start
    All ways there to advise

    I'm feeling all alone
    made my world out of frost*
    Coated my heart with stone
    Because without you I am lost

    But I feel something inside
    Begging me to do
    Opening my eyes so wide*
    Oh my I think it's you

    I'm going to make you proud
    Wipe these tears for my eyes
    I'm gunna scream it loud*
    No one truly dies.

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Thanks
    5
    Thanked 10 Times in 9 Posts

    your friend must have been a truly wonderful person and this definitely expresses the loneliness and anguish you must have felt at their passing. the imagery is vivid, expressive and beautiful which when coupled with a gentle and simplistic rhyme scheme, truly produces something that is a pleasure to read. I hope you get through this difficult time and look forward to reading more. good job!

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 26 Times in 26 Posts

    He really was and Knowing that it is expressed enough though my lyrics that others can see it to makes it worth writing and thanks im get on with each day the best i can and hopefully this will inspire me to write more and maybe even inspire others to keep going

  4. #4
    Senior Member Doug Denslowe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Thanks
    281
    Thanked 392 Times in 367 Posts

    Wow,deep stuff(for the lack of a better word that can't be posted)You know you've written a great piece when you get Tomatomic to give you feedback!He doesn't Comment unless it's Real Good!So,that's in itself is something to be proud of.I had to ask him to give me a Reply,so you're doing something right!Nice work,now less see what you got next!

  5. #5
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 26 Times in 26 Posts

    Hahah yer it was a bit deep lol. Hahaha i feel privaledged Aye il see what i can think up next il try and make it haopy tho lol

  6. #6
    Senior Member Doug Denslowe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Thanks
    281
    Thanked 392 Times in 367 Posts

    At second look,this is a real"easy to sing"song.It sings itself right off the page.I assume it would be slow,most sad songs are.I find myself singing this,which coming from me is a huge rave!This should be recorded,and by many different singers!

  7. #7
    Senior Member Frankie Jasmine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Thanks
    239
    Thanked 288 Times in 257 Posts

    Please keep writing. We don't care if it's sad, mad, afraid, or happy. Just keep it up! My deep condolences ...

  8. #8
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 26 Times in 26 Posts

    Il see if i can add a bit of acoustic guitar to it and if so il send you what ive done to it if you want
    I promise il keep writing, i enjoy it to much to stop and having people like my stuff is a nice feeling and thank you for the condolences

  9. #9
    Senior Member Frankie Jasmine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Thanks
    239
    Thanked 288 Times in 257 Posts

    I understand about feedback. I give as much as I can; but I'm a poet. I have a thread of poetry in that section, but it doesn't get as much activity as the Lyrics!! (To which we owe some heap-big thanks to Doug D. for revitalizing the lyrics comments; posts are now great!)

  10. #10
    Senior Member Doug Denslowe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Thanks
    281
    Thanked 392 Times in 367 Posts

    Aw,shucks!

  11. #11
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Thanks
    27
    Thanked 23 Times in 23 Posts

    Quote Originally Posted by trueperfectionisimperfect View Post
    This is very close to my heart its about my best friend who died in july and how i made my world cold to the people who tried to help and i seemed to have given up.

    laying in my room again
    Listening to the world go by
    Suffering in pain again*
    Can't believe you had to die

    Don't no what to do*
    Don't no what to say
    Remembering the times of me and you*
    How we'd sit and laugh all day

    I'm feeling all alone
    made my world out of frost*
    Coated my heart with stone
    Because without you I am lost*

    My tall gentle giant
    My protector, my light, my friend
    We was an alliance
    But that has seemed to end *

    Your warmth and heart
    Shadowed only by your size
    My life you helped kick start
    All ways there to advise

    I'm feeling all alone
    made my world out of frost*
    Coated my heart with stone
    Because without you I am lost

    But I feel something inside
    Begging me to do
    Opening my eyes so wide*
    Oh my I think it's you

    I'm going to make you proud
    Wipe these tears for my eyes
    I'm gunna scream it loud*
    No one truly dies.
    I'm sorry to read in the fact that it is so sad. It's a great tribute. I do have a question though just for a writing stand point. What do the "*" stand for? I know sometimes I use things to mark something in the song. For example, in my songs, the bold text is the chorus and the italicized text is my prechorus and bridge. Just curious if it's signifigant in someway. Great song and it's good see you pay tribute to this person who clearly has affected you in a deep way.
    We're a little bit stranger on the inside

  12. #12
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 26 Times in 26 Posts

    Thanks bud glad you liked it and its because i write all my songs on my phone then copy and paste it over and for some reason they pop up lol

Similar Threads

  1. Lord Of The Lost - We Are The Lost (Snippet) orjinal lyrics
    By shadoworshade in forum Lyrics request
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 08-25-2012, 04:12 AM
  2. Lost
    By greekdoll in forum Greek lyrics translation
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 09-29-2009, 02:52 AM
  3. lost
    By texter-bernd in forum Lyrics Review
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 11-24-2008, 01:49 AM
  4. I lost myself again
    By laurenv1564 in forum MTV The Hills Identify
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 02-13-2007, 01:40 PM
  5. Lost
    By Baracuda in forum Lyrics Review
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 06-14-2006, 03:48 PM

Posting Permissions