Consc1ence - better way

2nd song iv made feedback would be appreciated
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=13JClPTiBuw

you hold flow well, a few times it feels like you try to force an extra word or syllable into a line though. delivery is good for the most part, a few pronunciation issues but nothing major. I wasn't so keen on the lyrics personally, topic of the song was fine but it didn't feel like you approached it in a very original way. too many curse words for me, not that I'm completely against them. sometimes they can really make a point, but seemed like you would use them every time you needed to round off a syllable count. that's a personal issue though. yeah, lyrics just seemed a bit basic, but if it's your 2nd song then you can easily work to improve on all that. hang around here too, there are loads of people who can give you tips on writing, delivery, flow, etc.

overall, not a bad grounding to build on

thanks heaps mate appreciate you taking the time to listen and give feedback, definatly will take that all in, cheers