Bedroom Eyes

Since I try to comment on as many songs as possible...........reposting this to get some new eyes on it.........

Good stuff Doug, I like it a lot. Very catchy with a lot of good lines.

Thanks........I appreciate it.

Classic! A grand example of songwriting at it's finest. Sure I haven't heard it on the radio?

Originally Posted by BackInBlack

Classic! A grand example of songwriting at it's finest. Sure I haven't heard it on the radio?

Maybe if I get lucky,someone will come and steal it.......that's the only way it'll be on the radio!

I hear ya. Same here. I've never sold one song in my life. Yet I still keep doing it...

Doug,
I love re-reading your pieces. You have the gift of engaging the reader WITH ALL THE SENSES...visual- "Dishwater Blonde"....smell "30's perfume"...Touch "it's now or never, time to make my move." Sound.."It's now or never she whispered"...the more I dissect this piece, the more I just love it.....It has a burlesque feel to it. I see an ivory woman with flowing blonde hair...fishnet stockings...and sensuality that jumps off the page...BRAVO!!
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Originally Posted by BackInBlack

Classic! A grand example of songwriting at it's finest. Sure I haven't heard it on the radio?

I agree that it's classic, but I feel a more modern poem, than a song from this piece. Perhaps if there was a repeating stanza...Doug, I know you imagine your lyrics in a more 60's ish music scene, but some of your pieces could be in punk rock songs, emo music, some folk, even gospel (modern) and R&B

Originally Posted by coolhand92

Good stuff Doug, I like it a lot. Very catchy with a lot of good lines.

I agree!! These lines are mind-blowing!! The whispering with the bedroom eyes is stuck in my head!! And the visual of a burlesque, curvy woman with wind in her dirty blonde hair, fishnet stockings, a satin see-through cream colored blouse, with only 2 buttons actually buttoned and a long skirt, with a slit all the way up..and the 30s and 40s inspired 5 inch pumps. She has one leg casually on a chair, and one long finger with long red nails, doing the "come here" point. I also imagine a very smokey eye, green, that speak volumes .....I got this all from your piece Doug. You've really mastered including the reader in the visual aspect of the piece. I really REALLY like this one. It could definitely be published in an anthology of modern poems or as a song.

If you are familiar with Vargas,the illustrator in Playboy magazine,the guy that drew the curvy "old fashioned dames" if you get my drift,that's the vibe I was going for.I think you,Jessie,picked up on that perfectly......