The Idiot Thief

http://yourlisten.com/channel/conten...12/idiot_thief


Verse
Sprinting t'wards the razor wire
I've gotta make it up-n-over
If I do, pray I don't get
Gunned down from behind

I snatched the crops of another man
Have got 'em slung across m'shoulder
Can't slow down, I'm almost there
One last push for the barrier


Chorus
(this time only instrumental)


Verse
Tangled up in a teethy mess
Torn my trousers n'ripped my flesh
Can't get free, completely stuck
Upside down suspended

Hanging like a chandelier
I stretch my arms but I'm nowhere near
The ground below, it looks as though
I may go meet my maker


Chorus
Dear Lord, if you hear my plea
Lift me out of this here mess please
I won't steal no more I swear
Especially from Mr..


Bridge
..Escobar


Verse
Dogs are barking, closing in
Chambers locking, m'future's dim
This steely web's engulfing me
If only I could get on my knees

Chorus
Dear Lord, if you hear my plea
Lift me out of this here mess please
I won't steal no more I swear
Especially from Mr. Escobar

I love it,unfortunately you won't get much,if any,feedback on "lyrics"like these.Too...........I don't know what,but I hope I'm wrong.
Personally I love this original song!

DeShaun: Stealing. Weed. Praying for help in a crime against a crime. Things I detest. HOWEVER . . . there is something, yes, charming, about your writing! It's like, true, but humorous. It's criminal, but without glorification of criminality. There "your" hiney hangs from the razorwire (not funny) but it is funny with wit, and I can't believe what I'm saying. "You" are one caught-criminal, it's obvious! I can't help smilin' all over the place. (And "Mr. Eschobar" kills me! Not overdone.)

So I guess I say: This is a cautionary song; no glorifying of badness. If anything, more like "Dumb Criminals." So you are not promoting badness. But, DeShaun, there's something about you--you have to keep writing. You are extremely clever. And congrats on not one profanity. When you've got command of language, profanity's unnecessary.

The song: I think this song has to move a little faster with more melody variation. Yet, maybe the music can be faster and more varied at first; then slowing, slowing, slowing, emphasizing just how "stuck" you are in the situation! You make me laugh in spite of myself. And that's a good thing. There is something very sharp about you, and I don't mean the wire. You might have . . . that X-factor in lyrics writing, if this and the other song I commented on are any indication!!

PS: "Idiot Thief" title = perfect.

Thank you Doug. I sincerely appreciate your encouragement.

Thank you Frankie I appreciate your comments, very much food for thought.

You're welcome!

awesome!!

as soon as i started reading this i immediately pictured something heavy, driving and totally headbangable, but i will freely admit that i was pleasantly surprised when i listened to the recording. this is actually really refreshing to read and listen too and totally look forward to reading more. you definitely have lyrical and musical talent that is missing from this planet. well done dude!!

Tomatomic, Thank you very much for your kind compliment.

the truth simply can't be spoken!

DeShaun, I've never forgotten this song! There's a new thread called POETRY - GENERAL, however, lyrics are also fair game. I have highlighted your song there.

Today I heard a song on the radio that reminds me of your style. It's called "Down Home Girl" by Old Crow Medicine Show. Have you heard of them? Here's a link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpvzwh6rL_I

I love being proved wrong on a song like this.
Mostly songs that have any controversial topics are ignored by the folks here.
The tide may have turned.