Love Me Like The First Time ['On the Run' renamed]

I wrote this as a poem, but I think it screams to be a song.
Edit: added a chorus.


Verse 1:
C.D.......E...d..E.......d..D..C
I can't see beyond tomorrow
I only have today
To put off all the sorrow
I know will come some day
Hear me call you baby
Even when my lips don't move
Love me like the first time
Like there's nothing left to lose

Chorus:
Love me like the first time
When we danced across the stars
Love me like there's no time
Left to wonder who we are
Love me like forever is
Just one more picture show
Love me like today will be
The last we'll ever know

Verse 2:
Every day you show me
There's no one else but me
Every day I hold you like
There's nowhere else to be
Baby don't you worry
I've got all I'll ever need
And you don't have to hurry
But don't waste a single beat

Verse 3:
Don't let the future slow us
'Cause it may never come
Today is all there is
So let's take it on the run
I can't see beyond our heartbeats
So all I've got is now
Just tell me that you love me
And I'll dance you to the clouds

Chorus:
Love me like the first time
When we danced across the stars
Love me like there's no time
Left to wonder who we are
Love me like forever is
Just one more picture show
Love me like today will be
The last we'll ever know

(repeat chorus)

Love me like the first time
Like it's all we'll ever know


Made some minor changes, singing this through: Trimmed the vocals in the first few lines; took out the second chorus so verses 2 and 3 come together; in verse 3 I shortened lines 2 & 4, changed lines 5-7; added a 2-line outro after 2x chorus.)

Love me like the first time is a great idea. Put the emotional tug about that in your chorus...id make a two line bridge so you have something extra.

My 2 cents

Thanks Kathy, sounds like a plan. But I'm not sure about a bridge, coz I'm hearing this more like that song I posted... kinda straight up, where the chorus is patterned like a verse.

But I dunno... ... since this started as a poem, I can't quite get it moving into a chorus...

Maybe if I try hearing George Strait instead... a little shift in style, maybe that'll help get it done.

Added a chorus.

Just caught your post Jim. Too late, it's done
Thanks!

But now it needs another title??

Moonster,
It's prefect as is!The Rhymes are strong,the love is long.......dats good enuff for me!Good Job,this I like..........a lot!You're Still duh man!

Aw thanks Doug! Seriously, I really appreciate the read and even more your comments. Same to you Jim, which I didn't think to say before.

The "read"????

Well I assume you gave it a "read" before you commented?

Why bother?Straight to the Comments!No,of course I read it!I've never been Thanked for merely reading something before!I always ask,if in doubt!

LOL....I like the chorus....but I hear verse 3 as a bridge, something that turns it around. Verse 3 makes me sad like it will be a very short lived love.
Hey its all good. Its opinions and its your song.

Thanks again, and opinions are always welcome! As for the second verse, I've actually considered leaving out the chorus after it and moving right into the 3rd verse...

But as for "short-lived", nah we hope not short at all But there's a little personal history behind all of it. We tend to think "there's always tomorrow", but there just may not be a tomorrow.

Ah we all do. I am 8 years younger then my hubby and its been 23 years. LOL Its starting to show..LOL We all do wonder what is around the next corner.

Moon if you don't change the title to Love Me Like The First Time i won't speak to you for at least an hour

Right away i heard a tempo of exactly 60bpm and a voice like Clint Black but "older" like in one of those old singing cowboy movies.....maybe a female could sing it but i would love to hear it with a strong baritone voice.....defo.

The chorus is my favorite "verse"

I really love this <33

Dude, absolutely amazing. Whatever your muse is, keep it around. I am in awe at the chorus. And your right, it screams to be a song. If you ever record it, please be sure to share it with us!

Thanks! My own feeling is that if I've ever written anything singable, this is it. It may sound like a hundred other songs but I'll get it set to music somehow.

Renamed.

Originally Posted by Teshka

Moon if you don't change the title to Love Me Like The First Time i won't speak to you for at least an hour

She really meant it

<33

I made a few changes, explained in the top post.