We call this life

It's long... because I wrote this to the tune of Leonard Cohen's Closing Time.

http://youtu.be/7-0lV5qs1Qw

The stars are cold and I am old
all is as it has been foretold
the heavens sleep and dream of good and kind.
And the Thousand Men of Power
lock us all inside a tower
so we can have a party all the night.
We drink their health, hand them our wealth,
they laugh and bid us sweet farewell,
something dark is creeping up the sky.

Chorus x 2:
But we dance and party hard and long,
go high, go low, turn right, turn wrong
we share our love till love is gone
a flirt, a kiss, a mating song:
we call this life.

The drums are beatin' hard and fast
when Jesus comes to join the dance
he turns our boiling blood to Chardonnay.
The stars get in our dancing ring,
we want a leader, choose a king
I feel a cold sensation of dismay.
So I stand up and I call out loud
"I need a walk! Who joins me out?"
When no one comes I feel I've been betrayed.

Chorus x 2:
The singers sing, the dancers dance
they sink deep in a dreamless trance.
The doors are shut, there is no key
and no one cares apart from me...
we call this life.

I turn to find you in the crowd
the music's on, the chanting loud
I find not you but someone in your skin.
She does not speak the words you do
her language is that of voodoo,
a dark something (x3) is riding with the wind.
The dark has won and God won't come,
I feel the cold and turn to run
nowhere, the walls start falling in.

Chorus x 2:
Then the bells go off and the apple tree
uproots himself and turns to flee
the snake turns up, picks up the chase
and Adam runs to save his face;
we call this life.

The stars are gone and I am done
and life just hit her last home run,
the hell below is looking warm and nice.
And the Thousand Men of Power
build themselves a Taller Tower
where the fools can play the beautiful and wise.
But the apple tree is standing tall
and the snake is free from sin and fall,
and Adam has a pair of loaded dice.

Chorus x 2:
It's one for Eve and one for life,
the world lets out a mighty sigh,
the darkness leaves the morning sky,
in East the sun is climbing high;
now this is life.

But we dance and party hard and long,
go high, go low, turn right, turn wrong:
we call this life.

We share our love till love is gone
a flirt, a kiss, a mating song;
we call this life.

The singers sing, the dancers dance
they sink deep in a dreamless trance.
We call this life.

The doors are shut, there is no key
and no one cares apart from me;
we call this life.

It's one for Eve and one for life,
the world lets out a mighty sigh,
now this is life.

The darkness leaves the morning sky
in East the sun is climbing high;
now this is life.

First i want to say, if i havent said it yet (lol) that i really enjoy reading your lyrical poetry which means that you even write song lyrics in a very poetic style, at least in my opinion. Second, my bf (Moonride*r*) has shown me that Leonard Cohen was one of the vreatest songwriters in the world and i think it's great to study his work. And third i felt that these lyrics also reminded me of some of the power metal and symphonic metal that i used to listen to a lot and i enjoyed getting that impression too. I also love that little touch of mystery that i get from reading this and other lyrics that you've written. In all of that together i'm trying to say that you have a really great style and i also believe that you have the talent of a master poet, so please stay with what you do really well, better than almost anything else that i've read on this site. Your writing has a distinct personality all of its own and again i really enjoy following your posts

I'm glad you appreciate what I do. Words do come easily to me, and I enjoy playing with them - but I often wonder if I manage to 'touch' anyone with what I say. Generally in life, I very rarely find people interested in the things I am interested in, and vice versa. The composer I am working with wants 'commercially viable' lyrics, so I do bits for him (good for learning the ropes), but what I really want to do is more ontological in nature. Not that it cannot be commercially viable... Otherwise no one would know the names of Leonard Cohen, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Charles Dickens - or Bill Watterson, for that matter.

Man I love this. It was suggested to me (actually I was ordered) to give this a read, and I see exactly why: Any man or woman who can put L.Cohen and F.Dostoevsky right next to each other in a sentence has got to know what it's all about

But as an aside, the other Fyodor that I pretty much worship is Tyutchev (<-click), a name that most Americans don't know at all, but in Russia he's as well-known as Pushkin.

The only thing about poetry is that it's fairly easy to write a rhyme in many languages other than English. Which is why I have equal or greater admiration for the great English-speaking poets; as well as for the Russian guy (Nabokov) who translated that Tyutchev poem in the wikipedia article to English.

But I ramble. The thing is, I've read this and reread and reread, trying to find one little thing to critique, just so I won't sound like a twit after blabbing on and on. But I guess I'm just a twit. I.Love.This!

PS: Love that Cohen song! I'm gonna post it in one of the "General Discussion" threads, if you don't mind, along with a link back to this thread.

Just for "posterity", if you don't mind a helping hand...

http://www.metrolyrics.com/closing-t...ard-cohen.html

And here's the cross-post:

http://www.allthelyrics.com/forum/ge...tml#post971317

I like this story. Very relevant and today.

well now i just have to ask if you dont mind...what is your "most" native language?

I also just noticed the rhyming scheme in this, and in Cohen's original. I don't normally "care" but this is very nicely complicated... aabccbddb. So now I have to add that I'm thoroughly awestruck and even a little intimidated!

I know Akhmatova and her interlacing intricacies, but I'll have to study up on Okudzhava... not even sure if I've even heard that name before, at least not in my recollection. Poetry is just a hobby for me, and by no means do I have encyclopedic knowledge. I just know what I like, and this has got to be one of my top 2 or 3 favorites here on ATL. I can't get enough of these lyrics or the original song now. Another of my favorites by Cohen, lyrically and musically, is Dance Me To the End of Love. I think that title alone is killer, but the whole song just drips with poetic allegory, and everything.

Anyway: In short, I am immensely appreciative that you found this site!

I'm still trying to find uninterrupted time to explore Okudzhava's work, but for now, I would caution against getting "too much" education ... in the sense that mechanics can sometimes get in the way of creativity. And in my opinion, poetry, songwriting and storytelling are almost nothing but art. Artistic talent is either there or it's not.

To be perfectly honest, I'm about the same as you in a general sense. I've done a lot of "skimming" over the years. But I think building a catalog (or reference) of knowledge for some future use has immense value of its own. And we can't learn everything right away; it takes years, and it also takes a certain timing... the stages of life, that kind of thing...

Gypsy-influenced, or -spirited, yeah I can definitely agree with that!