Real Problems

Hunt and Kill
Until there's animals,no more
Wasted lives and billions
On pointless war
Middle class is over
You're either rich or poor
Carry a weapon
When you go to the store

Real Problems
Hide your head in a hole
If asked your opinion
Say you don't know

When scientists warn
It's easy;just deny it
Age old myths
Don't think;just buy it
And if it feels good
Don't even try it
When you eat chicken
It's best not to fry it

Real Problems
Hide your head in a hole
If asked your opinion
Say you don't know

Can't be too rich or too thin
So they say
If you want to get married
Better not be gay
Keep raping the forests
Until it's gone away
Why think about tomorrow
Just live for today

Tornadoes and hurricanes
Global Warming;that's insane
Overpopulation
Just a silly claim
No Ozone layer
Too much rain
Too late to turn back
Such a shame

Real Problems
Hide your head in a hole
If asked your opinion
Say you don't know
When it's time to Vote
You're too busy to go

10/28/12

Doug, this song is super and very different from your usual ones (which you know I like too). I really like "Real Problems."
But what's really weird . . . and I have NO IDEA WHY . . . It DOES have a similar vibe to my poem, "CONSCIENCE." I promise ... I didn't read your song first! (This is really weird.)

Anyway, back on topic. Great Refrain. I don't know how to say this ... Wait a minute! I've got it - Your song is very contemporary! And I enjoy the "beat."

P.S. ...And the meaning and how you've constructed it blows me away...!

Thanks Frankie,I'm glad this got one response!

HEY HO LETS GO!!!! i loved this man, a great piece. i think frankie hit the nail on the head with contemporary, so the first word i can offer is progressive and i am partial to allot of progressive. good poetry and imagery, i especially like the chicken line... although the one point i will make is the flooding, tornadoes and hurricanes line, i just think it's a little wordy and sort of throws the beat off i think. apart from that a fine piece of progressive contemporary work!!! great stuff dude!!!!

Originally Posted by Doug Denslowe

Thanks Frankie,I'm glad this got one response!

Doug, I think you can expect a lot of response on this one! If not, I'm gonna campaign for people to come read it!

Originally Posted by Tomatomic

HEY HO LETS GO!!!! i loved this man, a great piece. i think frankie hit the nail on the head with contemporary, so the first word i can offer is progressive and i am partial to allot of progressive. good poetry and imagery, i especially like the chicken line... although the one point i will make is the flooding, tornadoes and hurricanes line, i just think it's a little wordy and sort of throws the beat off i think. apart from that a fine piece of progressive contemporary work!!! great stuff dude!!!!

Tomatomic, your input is highly valued around here; I'm glad you commented--I enjoyed reading your opinion! I must admit that I like your word better--progressive! When I wrote "contemporary" it fell just short of what I felt. Now you've given me the right word! Thanks. . . . I do disagree to an extent on the "weather" line. By that I mean that if it were broken down, each one on a separate line, it would read better with the same words. The other option would be to go to a less defined description like "messed-up weather" or "screwy weather." What would you suggest instead of the specific "floods, tornadoes, hurricanes"--did you have something in mind that could be shorter but just as powerful?

Originally Posted by Tomatomic

HEY HO LETS GO!!!! i loved this man, a great piece. i think frankie hit the nail on the head with contemporary, so the first word i can offer is progressive and i am partial to allot of progressive. good poetry and imagery, i especially like the chicken line... although the one point i will make is the flooding, tornadoes and hurricanes line, i just think it's a little wordy and sort of throws the beat off i think. apart from that a fine piece of progressive contemporary work!!! great stuff dude!!!!

Atomic One,
Once again......busted!(Frankie J. Busted me once before,on a song called "Life")Let me tell you what I mean by this;I ran out of ideas on Life and just threw some lines together to finish a real good,personal song.I just put in lines that really didn't go with the first half of the Song Lyric.On Real Problems I had written it,to completion.Ah, then Hurricane Sandy raised her ugly head.I felt
compelled to add it in.It may not fit,I wrote it as an afterthought!Tomatomic,you saw through this
and I congratulate you for pointing it out!I respect someone that can give constructive criticism and
you hit the nail on the head.I did try to include something that was happening as I wrote it,but it really didn't fit!Thanks for having the insight to call me on it.And Thank You Frankie,for being the pal you always are!

Doug this song is freaking amazing and it's topic is something I've been trying to write since this election started. Seems as if we are more focused on the little things instead of focusing on the real issues and it seems as if we are blinded by these little things causing us to not see or completely ignore the real problems. Great song this one hit right at home with me brilliant execution of your words, I was really moved by this one.

Originally Posted by Johnb31

Doug this song is freaking amazing and it's topic is something I've been trying to write since this election started. Seems as if we are more focused on the little things instead of focusing on the real issues and it seems as if we are blinded by these little things causing us to not see or completely ignore the real problems. Great song this one hit right at home with me brilliant execution of your words, I was really moved by this one.

Thanks John.I'm glad some of the folks at ATL did get what I was trying to say.when it's time to Vote,You're too busy to go,was an afterthought as well.My favorite line: And if it feels good,Don't even try it,When you eat chicken,It's best not to fry it!You know,I'm well known for my diet tips!

Doug,

A good comment on modern society. It seems like things are going downhill.

Jim

frankie i would not think about changing the line to any great extent, but i think that removing 'flooding' from the line would retain the beat and still retain the power of the lyric.

doug, i'm not going to lie, i massively appreciate that you can appreciate criticism, i know far too many writers of poetry who break down at one iota of criticism which sorely irritates me. but dude the piece itself is perfectly sound by any reckoning and i really enjoy it. speaking of criticism, i think i require some on man consumes man...... ASSIST ME!!!!!!!! but but to your art... i solely believe that the removal of flooding from the line would make it flow much better... other than that man i love it!!!

Originally Posted by Tomatomic

frankie i would not think about changing the line to any great extent, but i think that removing 'flooding' from the line would retain the beat and still retain the power of the lyric.

Tomatomic: I bow to your higher critique (truly!). Plus Doug really let the cat out of the bag.

Hey, Doug, dontcha know it kind of ruins it when an artist explains their lyrics/poetry?? A wise man once said, "I think it's best left to the reader's imagination."

Frankie,
I wasn't explaining the "meaning"just how I came up with the decision to include which lines,where.The meaning is pretty clear,but I'd never argue with the Great and Wise Oz!!!

Originally Posted by Tomatomic

frankie i would not think about changing the line to any great extent, but i think that removing 'flooding' from the line would retain the beat and still retain the power of the lyric.

DONE!!!Now should I remove "that's" from "that's insane" It seems to be an extra word now.What do you think;Atomic One,Frankie,smoothtung?

You better not argue, buddy. You'll be stuck in Oz forever, and I'll never help you go back home . . .

(P.S. I wasn't explaining the "meaning" to my poem either--just what triggered the idea--and the meaning was pretty obvious as well! Punct. Oh, excuse me, let me say it in English, PERIOD. I.e., Do not talk back to the great WIZ.)

Stuck in Oz forever?Hmm.......maybe that's exactly what I'm looking for!Please except my apologies,oh Magnificent One!

"Silence! You whippersnapper! The Great Oz has spoken!!"

from my perspective dude that sorts it out perfectly. i am flattered beyond measure that you changed it sole because my point... doug i salute you

The great and powerful Oz just foud your question, "that's insane" is fine!!

Originally Posted by Tomatomic

from my perspective dude that sorts it out perfectly. i am flattered beyond measure that you changed it sole because my point... doug i salute you

When you're right,you're Write!