Give me a subject

Just asking since things are kind of dry around here, give me any random subject and I shall let it rip !


Take Care

moral luck

Originally Posted by Venomonology

moral luck

Taking the high road has the different meaning...Whether your soul is empty or a kid at hear keeps you from gleaming
I choose to think at night but its still day dreaming...I curse the shadows at will but at my fault for fleeing
A good choice has so many more repercussions, than all of the negativity deepest instructions..my life a swingless hammock in mild discussion

Making your life worth while without any form of guile....Is to me the same things as being nice without the smile

What is morals if their not self admired but only taught....Its seems that the greatest of mankind can all be bought

The world is given is due principles..maybe call it the principle of man....Some claim commandments,some say ethics, and others have no agendas or plan.

One person may murder with the blink of an eye, while another may contemplate for weeks to even think of taking a life, for if the woman wasnt walking in the street she wouldnt have been violated in mid cry, 2 different husbands with an ever conclusive decision have the unusual why's ??

How do we pass judgement to others and lovers...but when criticized for our actions when demand silence to even brothers and mothers

The truth is just an explanation to some, mostly the lost will play your souls music without missing a strum, what is the price of personal evaluation without the dumb...even the intelligent can be left without words for taking sides is cumbersome

Do we as mammals and beings of this earth, wonder why do certain actions happen since child birth, does karma take such a wholesome grip that feelings have such worth

As for the sloth in forest hanging from the limb...does he ponder another sloths methodical whim...or do these kind of evaluations never conceive from their brain stem.....for his mother being killed put his life in vengeance and his short sides begin to skim

Ask the world if there is so many reasons...you can tell the truth in this country and its discovered treason...We have warm homes and complain of the season..While there are children on this globe who are barely breathin...Did they ask for it cause their demographics or we just the shallow to call it even stevens

So moral justice or as entertained we shall the latter of luck...Who are we as humans to simply never give a ****....We complain of taxes but still worship the buck...Whats anyones life when you will not help the stuck....It seems for every 1 good person there are a million lookin at him and cursin...hoping their lives cancer can leave and the positive can start to worsen

So thank you venom for the topic and even for me to stretch the brain and embrace my ego....We cant hold each other up when there only greed storing up in the placebo...Far as hard judgement and ethical evaluations Ive got more than I need though...Doesnt matter the person knocking on the door when we cant even see the peep hole

Ha didnt see that topic coming man, very challenging must say

pretty good. you got some good ideas & concepts going on in your drops, I'd like to see you spend a bit more time over them though. I've only ever seen you rhyme single syllables at the end of lines, I'd like to see you mix up your scheme sometimes, just to show you can if nothing else. Also, your flow could be touched up. Some lines feel too long, & others feel too short... keep up.

as far as this particular piece, I'd like you to have expanded more on the little bit about the woman... maybe starting with her getting ready to go out, phone distracting her, then something happening to her which you could say wouldn't have happened if her friend hadn't called her. make a story out of it, y'know.

ts no gift, being slow and dreamin swift, guitar solos couldnt catch my rift, homerun intentions playin with the whif, full bats on insects, pus** is what i suspect

i dont need no hello kitty, with wrinkles not lines aint so pretty, suckin down the commit, tee off with no fair, way of the dog, smokebombs vs ocean fog


First line - the homerun with the whif(whif was for the obvious miss) my next line was for whiffel ball bats - but used the bats as the animal eating insects


Second - suckin down the commit (as in those falsely in prior commit) commitee for the entire group - but used the end of committee for the TEE off with no fair way (ha as in golf) - but used way as in way of the dog (the old saying "way of the dog)

rally the pep see me fizzin so coke up - Rally the pep see me - Like in pepsi and of course you know the reference to coca cola

twice is the lesson u need 2 brakes,lines you air is scat tic tac couldnt help that - First part of 2 brake ( as in needed to hurry up and stop very fast) but I broke up brakelines as in whats needed to even use the brakes -


So sometimes I do this and seems to go over lots of peoples heads to think I really dont try to go deep, thats what I was referring to.


Thanks for the tips though

Take Care

people probably don't get it because you haven't incorporated the language or the words into metaphors or similes that mean anything when linked together.. like "homerun intentions" and "full bats on insects".. there's not enough of a solid connection between those 2 phrases and there's no clever wordplay in there to link them either, no double meaning.

the committee / fair way thing was a better concept in terms of it being more complete, but you still need to execute the concept in a way which makes sense to the reader. to do it your way means that there has to be an overriding theme that links comet, committee, golf & fair way.. that overriding theme would then allow the pieces of the puzzle to fall into place in the mind of the reader. if you know what I mean?

so it's not that you're being too deep, and it's not that the readers here are too stupid to get it.. you're execution of the concepts hasn't allowed them to access the true depth of your lyrics.

Thanks again for the insight

Take Care