song I wrote - would be happy to get your views

I will

Even if you just don't see me
Even if you just don't care
Even if you'll never listen
Even then I will be there

Even if you think I'm crazy
Saying that it's in my mind
Even then my truth will be there
I will not pretend I'm blind

Even if you can't remember
You erased it in your head
Even if I can not say it
I'll remember the unsaid

Even if it means I'll loose you
And this part of who I am
I will burn inside no longer
I will dare to feel no shame

Even if I still can't face you
Even if I'll never will
I will know I'm not to blame for
And I will believe I will

Too many Evens!Otherwise,not bad.

Here's an example that might help with what Dave said below. You definitely have something good to say in your song, you just need to get more of a flow. Think how you would say something in real life and put it down as close to that as you can, and the song will speak with even more feeling. You should keep writing as much as you can for sure, because you have a good message to give.

Even if you just don't see me
Even if you just don't care (And if you just don't care)
Even if you'll never listen
Even then I will be there (I will still be there)

Who's Dave?

Originally Posted by Doug Denslowe

Who's Dave?

LOL...Oops I called you Dave who is my cousin. He was here when I wrote that....My bad..lol... I meant Doug, Ro2!!!

Glad you cleared that up. I thought it was me that didn't know something.

Thank you both for your comment and for taking the time to read it and all.

I think the amount of "even"s is just fine lol

It's nice.i wish it was longer.keep it up