amaryn poetry and pics 2013

Originally Posted by loolooalbadr

this pic look like a view from my country,,,

Hi, Loolooalbadr! Nice to see you. Indonesian I like Nasi goreng a lot:NAMS You write poems too?

Originally Posted by amaryn

rocking under a metal moon
baby, why to leave so soon?
let us breathe the scent of life
sharpen it with your own knife
feeling tired is not for us
why on earth to make a fuss
baby, love to see you swing
queen of rhythm, make me king
baby, love to see you sweat
under that moon I'm looking at!

Amaryn,if this couldn't be a song,I don't know what could!The"baby,love to see you swing"could be
the chorus.I'd really consider turning this into a song;the highest praise I could heap on this.This is the start of something wonderful!Really consider it!(I meant the next three lines as well,for the chorus)

hahaha,,,dear Amaryn u like nasi goreng??? OMG here im so bored with thats kind of food,,,because every morning my mom always make it as a breakfast,,,everydaaaaaay,,, , anyway from which country u r #my bad English# ,,,about poem i like to read not to write,,,lol,,,nice to know u huuun,,,,

rocking under a metal moon,
baby, why to leave so soon?
let us breathe the scent of life
sharpen it with your own knife
feeling tired is not for us
why on earth to make a fuss?

chorus:



baby, love to see you swing
queen of rhythm, make me king
baby, love to see you sweat
under that moon I'm looking at


close together, feel my heart
don't want us to drift apart
move along, that beat is cool
bow and arrow are my tool
I'm sagittarius alright
aiming at you thru'the night

(chorus)....

feelings grabbed in time indeed
heating up under our feet
smaragd eyes piercing my soul
dancing steps out of controll
leaving now, babe, makes no sense
feel the air, it's hot and tense

(chorus)


PS: on Doug's suggestion turned into a song.
Suggestions welcome as regards title

Dats my boy!
Now,post it on Lyrics Review so you can get the feedback this so well deserves!

Thanks, Doug. I did - at 6 o clock this morning,lol Is there actually a difference between "Lyrics Review" and "Poetry"?

Originally Posted by amaryn

Thanks, Doug. I did - at 6 o clock this morning,lol Is there actually a difference between "Lyrics Review" and "Poetry"?

I have found that people Reply at a 10-1 ratio.Once in awhile you do get a piece of Poetry that gets many Comments,on Lyrics Review,I personally have spanked each and every writer who doesn't Reply on others Threads!!(I'm not counting the Threads,like this,that are collections.Just the one Song/Poem Threads)
Now that you posted on Lyrics Review,do you notice any difference?

Not much, but a few have answered who didnot read them before. That's always good, Doug! It keeps me writing as well....

Originally Posted by amaryn

Not much, but a few have answered who didnot read them before. That's always good, Doug! It keeps me writing as well....

I'm glad that you posted your song on Lyrics Review.I'm surprised it didn't receive more of the praise it well deserves.You never know,maybe a fan might dig it up 6 months from now and write something nice about it!!

I've got to go
though you don't know
deep down inside
I don't feel right
'cause I do love you, baby

I've got to say
I'd like to stay
deep down inside
your love I'll hide
'cause I do need you, baby

CHORUS:

mmm, why do I have to leave you
mmm, why do I have to leave you
leave you now?
mmm, why do I have to leave you
mmm, why do I have to leave you,
leave you now?

you've got to hear
that I'm sincere
my love for you
is warm and true
and I do want you , baby

you've got to know
before I go
deep down inside
I'll hold you tight
'cause I do love you, baby

CHORUS:

mmm, why do I have to leave you,
mmm, why do I have to leave you,
leave you now?
mmm, why do I have to leave you,
mmm, why do I have to leave you,
leave you now?


accompaniment: vivid, fast, passionate
strong piano beat,
multivocal chorus

(c) amaryn 2013

so, if you happen to be with a girl
who says she loves you more than she can tell
don't dream too long,
there's still night and day
and tell her that she doesnot know you well

and if she wants to hold you in her arms
because she thinks that she can be your friend
don't dream too long,
there's still night and day
and tell her that she first must understand

oh, you've learned your lesson well,
'cause pain printed your past
oh, you've learned your lesson well
there isn't much, not much in life can last

and if she strokes your body in the night
because she has convinced you after all
you should take care
and be aware
you're painting one more picture on the wall
you're painting one more picture on the wall

(c) amaryn 2013

this is the sad story
of a man they thought was mad
they had no eyes to see
the great capacities he had
to create, to renovate
to fill his world with sense
everyone believed
he had to live behind a fence

the drawings that he made
were thought to be chaotic
if he took part in conversation
they called him all "neurotic"
but they could not do anything
to fill his world with sense
the only thing they wanted
was him behind that fence

and so they did 'coz after all
they possessed the power
they said there was no room in life
for emptyheads and cowards
what they created was the air
that he could hardly breathe
they didnot want to help him
after his release

and when he finally broke down
because he felt so lonely
there were no kind words to be heard
no, what they said was only
"he, create, or renovate,
fill his world with sense?
that man was born to spend his life
behind an iron fence!"

(c) amaryn 2013

based on a true story

to be sung as a ballad

"goodevening, Miss Insomnia" said Mister Sandman once
"to me you look bright awake, so shall we have a dance?"
she tempted him with steps so delicate and fine
that his world starting turning round like after too much wine
"Alright, "he gasped, "you win , I shall go and rest,
close my eyes, you'll realize, that it for now is best,"
and off he went, leaving Miss Insomnia behind
restless as she always was, with too much on her mind

some girls are sweet
some girls are not
some want to give you
all they've got
some like to dance
some do not
some like romance
and kiss a lot


CHORUS:

but you, you like
to suck my blood
you take a knife
and carve a cut
a vampire virgin, cruel and mean
that's what you've always been

some girls are wise
some are not
some say their body's
all they've got
some like to play
a vicious game
to some the outcome's
all the same

but you, you like
to suck my blood
you take a knife
and carve a cut
a vampire virgin, cruel and mean
that's what you've always been

(c) amaryn 2013

@miss Insomnia and Mr.Sandman:Classic
@a vampire virgin:very cool.It does bring back "Some Girls"by the Rolling Stones.Still,it hits the spot.
The others I'll have to re-read,hopefully they'll grow on me!
Although your song on Lyrics Review is one of the best songs I've ever had the pleasure to read!It was so good,it caught me off guard.I can't understand why you're not receiving the praise you so well deserve.Maybe my liking it doesn't reflect the majority,but I wouldn't worry about it.(If I like it,it has to be good.That's an opinion I'll stand by!)

No, I really do not worry about that, Doug. You, and some others, have answered and I am happy they did.
Thanks for caring though!

Miss Insomnia and Mr.Sandman: I thought it was a good idea to put it this way, as one would expect probably that
Mr.Sandman put her to sleep but no, it's the other way around!

Then again, I might still try a different version ...I'm otherwise still in the faithfull company of Miss Insomnia anyway

Mister Sandman
will you put me to sleep?
will you read me a story?
will you help me count sheep?
Mister Sandman
will you stay by my side?
will you scare away
the shadows of night?

Mister Sandman
will you join me for tea?
will you sing me a lullaby
and close my TV?
Mister Sandman
will you watch while I sleep
even though no one else
guards my sheep?

I think this conversation should be with the Sandman.Miss Insomnia is keeping you awake,that's her job!The Sandman is who you asked for Sleepy Time Time.(The great Cream song from "Fresh Cream")

Originally Posted by Doug Denslowe

I think this conversation should be with the Sandman.Miss Insomnia is keeping you awake,that's her job!The Sandman is who you asked for Sleepy Time Time.(The great Cream song from "Fresh Cream")

Yes, of course, slip of the tongue, Doug! Changes made after reading your comment! Thanks Flower Bro