You'll never see

.....

It's a nice love song. I like it a lot. There a two little mistakes: flpi instead of flip in the first prechorus and does instead of goes in the second prechorus (does through my mind). Sorry if I sound like a teacher ;-) There are some lines I like particularly, like 'the way you sound when you say "hi" to me' and 'I'm left here behind with a guitar and a broken heart'. I think the song has a strong enough identity of its own that you shouldn't have to worry about a few cliche lines.

Thank you! Haha! Lol! Thanks for letting me know about the wrong spelled words. I wrote this is a hurry.

Nice but I think if you arranged the words in a more clear way,then it will be a plus<+>..i like it alot..i'd love to do a colabo with you..n I like that sweet storyline behind your song..I'm like,2 thumbs up!!awesome.

Thank you! I'd love to do a colab with you,too.

"but I saw",lol Thanks for telling me, Tania. Yes, you're right, there are a few clichés, but then again love is a cliché and "I love you" too
I agree here with Peter Both: it doesnot matter when the thought behind the song is just good enough

Spelling mistakes are typical for guitarplayers: because of my long nails I slip of the keyboard time after time

I think that this is really very good, it has a lot of feeling, and I think the last 3 lines of the chorus fit in nicely. Great job

Thank you everyone! ^_^

Good job I like it!

I know I've read this before........I even remember my pal Wilson's comment about writing with you.Usually if I don't Comment on a song the first time I see it,it's not going to be commented on.How this slipped by me I'll never know.That being said,this is by far the best song I've seen you post,and I try to read them all.This is a cool "girl song"circa 1960's.That is as big a compliment I can give.

Originally Posted by Doug Denslowe

I know I've read this before........I even remember my pal Wilson's comment about writing with you.Usually if I don't Comment on a song the first time I see it,it's not going to be commented on.How this slipped by me I'll never know.That being said,this is by far the best song I've seen you post,and I try to read them all.This is a cool "girl song"circa 1960's.That is as big a compliment I can give.

Thank yoooou! You're really nice. Ha!

And thank you everyone for taking the time to comment and give advice! You're awesome!

Should I change the first line? Does the "she" make the verse less powerful?

Lol this is very Taylor Swift of you. But its cute and catchy!

Originally Posted by Tania15

Should I change the first line? Does the "she" make the verse less powerful?

This is as close to perfect as one could expect.Don't mess with perfection!(What would you change it to?)

Originally Posted by Doug Denslowe

This is as close to perfect as one could expect.Don't mess with perfection!(What would you change it to?)

I don't know... Someone said it was a little confusing. I guess I'll leave it like this. Thanks!