Villanelle 5: Sweatville.

Thread: Villanelle 5: Sweatville.

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  1. curiosity_kills_the_cat's Avatar

    curiosity_kills_the_cat said:

    Default Villanelle 5: Sweatville.

    A chill born of the night
    Could it be a dream?
    Enclasped in the arms of fright

    A rude start, i sit upright
    Lightning or is it a beam?
    A chill born of the night.

    A shudder, my chest tight
    The moon, an apparition or a gleam?
    Enclasped in the arms of fright

    Shadows, images of a poor sight?
    To wait, to run or to scream?
    A chill born of the night.

    A frenzied and frantic searchlight
    Is this an endless seam?
    Enclasped in the arms of fright

    Might be a fever, it might.
    My skin-sweat, a fearful cream.
    A chill born of the night
    Enclasped in the arms of fright.


    P.S: Another one of my villanelles, earnestly hoping it does not bore you. Thanks for reading it.
     
  2. Doug Denslowe's Avatar

    Doug Denslowe said:

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    Boring?NEVER!!This is very.........Cat-ish,for lack of a better expression.(Don't worry,I'll think of one soon!)

    I still haven't thought of a "better word" but I attempted to give a better critique below.(comment #9)
    Last edited by Doug Denslowe; 09-05-2013 at 11:38 AM.
     
  3. curiosity_kills_the_cat's Avatar

    curiosity_kills_the_cat said:

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    Quote Originally Posted by Doug Denslowe View Post
    Boring?NEVER!!This is very.........Cat-ish,for lack of a better expression.(Don't worry,I'll think of one soon!)
    You make me smile, happy you were the first to see this.
     
  4. amaryn's Avatar

    amaryn said:

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    "Enclasped in the arms of fright": who could have said it better?
     
  5. curiosity_kills_the_cat's Avatar

    curiosity_kills_the_cat said:

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    Quote Originally Posted by amaryn View Post
    "Enclasped in the arms of fright": who could have said it better?
    Couldn't you?
     
  6. curiosity_kills_the_cat's Avatar

    curiosity_kills_the_cat said:

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    Are people too frightened to comment?
    (Pun unintended.)
     
  7. curiosity_kills_the_cat's Avatar

    curiosity_kills_the_cat said:

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    Hi Matt, is it the villanelle form you find "disgusting" or the contents of the poem?
     
  8. Eccer's Avatar

    Eccer said:

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    How did I miss this one lol? Once again, well written as well as a great engaging villanelle as always. Please, make some more will you? xD And assuming you do I place my hopes for you to return here again!

    Also, what impresses me is how you are able to make such deep images through this form. Certainly inspiring to what I might try it myself someday
    Last edited by Eccer; 08-27-2013 at 10:34 PM.
     
  9. Doug Denslowe's Avatar

    Doug Denslowe said:

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    I come to reread this fairly often.Why?Because it's that good!When I read this,I "see" figures like you would with great animation.Cat has the uncanny ability to "open doors to places unknown to me".I know it's hard to describe what I'm trying to say,but like Cat's poem,it's in it's own "trip" for lack of a better word.