HARDCORE/ROCK - 'Black & Blue Oceans' (would like honest reviewing)

Thread: HARDCORE/ROCK - 'Black & Blue Oceans' (would like honest reviewing)

Tags: hardcore, lyric writing, metal, reviewme
  1. RalZan said:

    Post HARDCORE/ROCK - 'Black & Blue Oceans' (would like honest reviewing)

    ReadME
    This song is about not fitting in, in todayís society as the Ďoddballí
    The strange kid who just wants a break in life.
    I deal with my own demon in that of the way of self-harm.
    This song is a reflection of my self harm, dealing with breakup and finding calm by the ocean.

    Black and Blue Oceans -
    All my bruises leave a distant memory,
    Every mark, every fickle blemish still fades away with every day.
    Every ****ing day a brand new scar, youíre all whatís made of who you are.
    A brand new day a brand new start, grab everything and raise the bar.

    I will swim these killer seas
    I will jump and climb mountains
    Where oceans might be.

    (BRING ME BACK TO BEAUTY)

    So take me back to where my skin blends in,
    To finally where I know that Iíll fit in.
    Bring me back to the waterís edge.
    SO TAKE ME BACK TO THE WATERS EDGE.

    -possible break down transition-
    Am i overstepping my bounds?
    Am I overstepping my bounds?
    Or is it just my life thatís hit the ground?

    So take me back to where my skin blends in,
    To finally where I know that Iíll fit in.
    Bring me back to the waterís edge.
    SO TAKE ME BACK TO THE WATERS EDGE.


    Picking up the pieces now thereís nothing between us,
    Will I remember you?
    Every single ****ing day you were all that I knew.
    Is this the only way? Will it be easier if you donít see what Iíve been through?
    So I cover my marks, cover my arms shrug off the cold and walk outside alone.
    Will I ever find what I call home?
    Take me back to beauty just so I can see it again,
    Infinite blue, where there will be no end.
    Life sucks in a beautiful kind of way
     
  2. Jim Colyer's Avatar

    Jim Colyer said:

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    Good self-expression. You're not alone. I'm 67 and still don't fit in.
     
  3. amaryn's Avatar

    amaryn said:

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    Ralzan, you expressed yourself in a horrifying, honest way and it asks for a moment of silence.
    Selfharm is nothing to be taken for granted and I acknowledge your sincerity.
    You used some great lines for it, right to the heart:
    I will swim these killer seas
    I will jump and climb mountains
    where oceans might be


    I'm impressed, and wish you nothing but courage!
     
  4. RalZan said:

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    Thabks for your support man I gues im so stuck in my own little box a never really thought about what someone would think about behind the lyrics.
    Really sort of brought me back to reality seeing your post
    Life sucks in a beautiful kind of way
     
  5. The Obscured said:

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    Beautifully written, leaves you very vulnerable, which is courageous. I know these feelings unfortunately, but I know that it can only get better. On a writers note, it's excellent and it's always an extension of your creative mind, so keep it up. You have excellent writing skills.
    We're a little bit stranger on the inside