"Ashes in the rain"
Hey guys... This is my first song on here. I wrote it while I was in a very depressed stage of my life, as the girl I loved more than anything in the world walked out on me. For some reason I wrote the Verses in no time at all but I could never find the words for the chrous... Anyway, any critique would be very much appreciated.
(I have just edited a chorus I thought of and changed the structure slightly)
“ASHES IN THE RAIN”
Verse 1:
I have walked through hell with bags of remorse
Drenched in sorrow,
Broken to the core,
I have screamed out your name and heard no reply
Stared at the Devil
And seen my own eyes
Verse 2:
I have been battered and bruised
by the words that you say
Made many mistakes and many prices I’ve paid
I have wandered alone through the darkest of nights
Watched cupids arrow break in mid flight
CHROUS:
But now you’ve grown to hate me
You were the only one who ever could save me
Looking in your eyes will never be the same
I've seen our bridges and they're just ashes In the rain
Ashes in the rain...
Verse 3:
I’m swimming against a tide
that flows back to your heart
You told me you loved me but lied from the start
I have flown the nest before I could glide
Hung in your noose and left there to die
Verse 4:
I'm holding my heart as it crumbles to sand
Watching my soul in the palm of your hand
I became so weak the day you stopped fighting
When we let go I fell but you started flying
CHORUS:
But now you’ve grown to hate me
You were the only one who ever could save me
Looking in your eyes will never be the same
I've seen our bridges and they're just ashes In the rain
Ashes in the rain...
Verse 5:
And it’s hard because I love you more than ever
And it’s hard because I know you’ll find your way
But how could it be our love keeps casting shadows
This pain we feel will slowly fade away
It will slowly fade away
Slowly fade away...