Memories of a broken home
are very much like
the pain of a broken bone.
I once had an urge
to numb this emotion
something to soothe,
this commotion
inside my head.
I was once full of dread
to face my pain
Instead,
I pushed my feelings aside
to abstain from the stride
of life.
I picked up a pipe
and embarked on a ride
that left me dead
inside.
Far from rational, I was CRAZY
Drugs took me to the bottoms
of hell- a sight
that Satan himself
would pay to see!
My life was nothing less than a play
My character, Jessie, had a flare for the dramatic
and rarely let anything get in her way
of having a good time...she refused
to be pragmatic
logical, or cohesive...
Jessie's character fell apart
in a thousand little pieces
With pride at my side
I refused to accept help
I trusted no one to confide
into "How do you feel?"
$hit, I didn't even know
what was fake, what was real
Day by day, I began to heal
and it was through that process
that I found God
and thanked him for the will
to learn how to feel
without the aide
of a little blue pill.
Trusting in God
that I stay clean and sober
I relinquished control
and SNAP!, like that
my turmoil was over!
Memories, yes they'll always be there
At times they flood my mind
like a broken, distorted mirror
In that respect,
I am an enigma-
a human puzzle.
I hustle
to gather all the pieces
then go to my journal
where the emotion releases.
Newly sober and content, my mind is a flurry
to do this, to do that..
I'm always in a hurry!
But, if I run, instead of walk as God has suggested
toward the light
my Spiritual GPS
will tell me to turn left
when Harmony and Tranquility
are clearly to the right.
Today, God guides me in every way
What was once empty
Internally
is now filled to the tee
by my deity
with peace, love
and Serenity.
And for that God,
I thank Thee...
Because
Without You,
There would be
no Me.
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None
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Thank You
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Wow.....very insightful to a person who has evolved and "seen the light"!I like both the message and the way you posted it.It's got a great rhythm to it.Only thing is I wish it'd have the date it was written,I know it wasn't written today,since I saw another draft.Great start,I hope there's more to come!
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thanks!
I appreciate your feedback...I'm not sure if I posted it in the right genre, but overcoming the initial fear of 'putting my self' out there, I feel more confident in writing more and posting more...so, Doug, thank you for that. You are a blessing and a good friend.
Originally Posted by Doug Denslowe
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Wow!! this spoke straight to my heart that doesn't happen very often. Incredible message great rythmn your journey to God really shows that He can help anyone as long as you let Him take the wheel. Thank you for sharing this I know that many people including myself will find hope in these words.
There is not enough space or time to truly let the song unwind -
I found many sections of this piece powerful...Right from the attention-grabbing opener till the very thankful end.
I'll be back to read some more, it's worth it.
"My spiritual GPS" will definitely still steer me back here.
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Lot's of personal feelings in this! Even I have a hard time revealing my feelings through texts, without making another story or an enigma to shroud it as something else. To come clean with this so openly is damn brave! And I think this was actually good
You place rhyming and pacing very fluidly, without overdoing it and therefore; Making this a pleasant read! (no offense intended!)
I think you got potential, so please stick around! Writing seems to be rare these days and thus. This forum is in dire need of every newcomer daringly to rhyme themselves into eternity.... lol -
Hi Jessie:
I must tell you that you almost made me cry, you capture the attention as we see the lines, like in a movie in our brain, a year ago I lost a dear person and I started two courses, one for thanatology, to bear the pain, and other in basic religion, to try to get closer to God, and as you say, God help us to ease the pain, our faith let us not change the truth, but see it in another way.
Your thread is in the right place, is a wonderful poem, that express your feelings, part of your life, and the overcoming to a new and marvelous life. But it made me remember the song "Amazing" by Aerosmith, wich theme is similar, so I think that it would be possible that your poem could be the lyrics for a rock song. Hope we can read more of your thinkings very soon, congratulations for your style, for your courage and for sharing with us the knowing that any person who is in pain can start again and again, life is a continuous line of fallings and standing ups. Thank you very much -
Thank you so much!! It really took me awhile to post this! I originally went to College for writing, but never followed through with it...once I became intertwined in the life of sex, drugs, rock 'n roll, I lost my creativity- I lost my muse, my inspiration and my identity. It has taken years- this is the first poem I've written in almost 10 years. Doug Denslowe has seen my last one that was published..it was written before I was seduced by the romanticized life of drugs. Now, that I'm sober and have the support of like-minded people, expect to see more of me. Thanks for the feedback! Originally Posted by Eccer
Lot's of personal feelings in this! Even I have a hard time revealing my feelings through texts, without making another story or an enigma to shroud it as something else. To come clean with this so openly is damn brave! And I think this was actually good You place rhyming and pacing very fluidly, without overdoing it and therefore; Making this a pleasant read! (no offense intended!)
I think you got potential, so please stick around! Writing seems to be rare these days and thus. This forum is in dire need of every newcomer daringly to rhyme themselves into eternity.... lol -
I can't even tell you how good that makes me feel! As a writer, I want to connect with the reader and tell a story, at the same time allowing the reader to have his/her own visuals, thoughts and even be able to relate to some of the things I wrote. Your feedback was so very nice, it really made my day. I will def. post more poems, I have to wait for the right moment....I am unable to just sit down and write at the drop of a hat...I'll be washing dishes and run over to my journal b/c my mind just flooded with a ton of ideas, so I'm writing on a notebook with hands dripping of water and Dawn dish soap, soaking through my 'pain' that I'm journaling. There is a literary term called "stream of consciousness". William Faulkner was a big fan of this style. It's writing non-stop, no puncuation and no editing...completely raw thoughts and inspirations jotted on a piece of paper...this is how my mind works as well...when it comes..IT COMES...BUT i have my dry seasons as well. Thanks so much for the feedback! Originally Posted by mexico62
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Thanks so much!! I am glad that my message was clear to the reader and even happier that you found 'hope' in my writing. As a writer, a psychologist, and a spiritual human being, my goal in life is to help others with any gifts God may have given me. Writing is something I love to do, and it warms my heart so much to hear that it touched someone's life and impacted them in a positive way, so thank you for that!- Jessie Originally Posted by Johnb31
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This shows in how many different ways a person can show a Pattern Of Emotions and end with presenting us a Tray of Honesty.
It is therefore unimportant, what the think-tank world of the reader exists of: I am absolutely agnostic, yet I bow my head for
someone who dares to speak up.
Therefore, Jess, thanks, and may we hear from you again!
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"Tray of Honesty"?!?!
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it's a simile, which is much like a metaphor, but more of a visual interpretation of an abstract concept. Originally Posted by Doug Denslowe
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I'd rather have a "Tray of Donuts"!!!!!
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you're always thinking of food,lol: no wonder you need to walk a lot Originally Posted by Doug Denslowe
Jessie: thanks for an excellent explanation
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no problem- he means well, he's just a goofball at heart, lol!! Originally Posted by amaryn
you're always thinking of food,lol: no wonder you need to walk a lot
Jessie: thanks for an excellent explanation -
Enjoying all these... the words, the lines, the food(or thoughts & talk of it) , of course all carried on the" Tray of Honesty".
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Food for thought? Originally Posted by curiosity_kills_the_cat
Enjoying all these... the words, the lines, the food(or thoughts & talk of it) , of course all carried on the" Tray of Honesty".
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Jessie . . . read your poem just now. Thank you for sharing it!
First of all, I love the tempo.
(I could go on about this aspect of your poem, but will not unless you want to hear the specifics. This quality is what impressed me the most--along with honesty--about Thank You.)
Second, your poem is boldly personal. Congratulations on your self revelations. However, I do understand that the real point of Thank You is "self expression;" yet you were brave enough to share it! The first time or two posting personal poems was very hard for me also. Then the fear quickly disappeared, for similar reasons as you--the responses of others.
Third, the story you tell through the poem is engaging. As a matter of fact, I disagree with no one who posted positive comments on "Thank You"!
Fourth, when I got to "There would be no me," I thought . . . did you get inside my brain for sure??! I wrote a poem two days ago with similar ending though a different underlying meaning.
Fifth, I enjoy also your expressions of faith. Some people are shy to relate such intimate things.
But you, Jessie, put it all out there for anyone to read and appreciate. Thank you for your efforts, courage, honesty, and--I must add--talent. Keep writing!!
Sixth, I also like your intelligence!
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Frankie, Originally Posted by Frankie Jasmine
Jessie . . . read your poem just now. Thank you for sharing it!
First of all, I love the tempo. (I could go on about this aspect of your poem, but will not unless you want to hear the specifics. This quality is what impressed me the most--along with honesty--about Thank You.)
Second, your poem is boldly personal. Congratulations on your self revelations. However, I do understand that the real point of Thank You is "self expression;" yet you were brave enough to share it! The first time or two posting personal poems was very hard for me also. Then the fear quickly disappeared, for similar reasons as you--the responses of others.
Third, the story you tell through the poem is engaging. As a matter of fact, I disagree with no one who posted positive comments on "Thank You"!
Fourth, when I got to "There would be no me," I thought . . . did you get inside my brain for sure??! I wrote a poem two days ago with similar ending though a different underlying meaning.
Fifth, I enjoy also your expressions of faith. Some people are shy to relate such intimate things.
But you, Jessie, put it all out there for anyone to read and appreciate. Thank you for your efforts, courage, honesty, and--I must add--talent. Keep writing!!
Sixth, I also like your intelligence!
This is my first time reading this!! Thank you SO MUCH for this inspiring critique! I hold your critiques in very high regard b/c you are so talented as a writer and so eloquent and positive in your critiques. I hope to be posting more soon...I need to FEEL it, it can't be forced..
-jessie
